The Struggle

My daughter likes to say "the struggle is real" when she can't get something right. Can't put her shoe on with arms full, gum stuck in her hair, tripping over piles of laundry...the struggle is real. I often find myself saying the same thing only about more serious matters, like developing a wise eating lifestyle.
There is a lot of talk in the nutrition/psychology world about the problems with "dieting" because numerous studies and research has shown that a body will binge after a diet. Experts are saying you shouldn't call refraining from eating unhealthful foods a "diet" (some are saying don't diet at all) because your body will feel deprived and later compensate. You can't fight the instinctual survival urge to eat for pleasure as often as you can, so don't make yourself feel bad for doing so. It makes sense that they would say this because if eating certain foods make you feel ashamed, your fear responses kick in and causes digestive problems. Besides, no lasting or positive change comes from feeling guilt and shame. Excessive and extreme dieting (like eating disorders) cause just as many problems if not more as overeating food corruptions. Low blood sugar and organ failure because of starvation can have a lifetime negative effect. That is all true.
But it is also true that if you eat whatever you want because you think it's better than feeling shame and guilt you can have food related illnesses and problems with obesity. Generations of people have been trying to balance the need for food, the urge to overeat, and the tendency to become overweight, sick, and tired if we don't get the balance right. The same experts that are saying "don't diet it doesn't work it just puts you in a stress response" are also saying "put in the time and work necessary to eat right and exercise and love yourself." They have standards, methods, techniques they have found work for healthful living. But we can't call it dieting? The struggle is real.
So what do we call it? I have opted to call it an optimal diet lifestyle. It requires work and being selective and trusting my body. I have seen positive outcomes. Yet I still get the feeling from people that I'm depriving myself and my children for living this standard. We are trying to protect our bodies from the harm of over-consuming sugar and instead are being "shamed" for seeing certain food eating practices as harmful. I guess it helps others feel less shame if they go to the effort of socially demonstrating that it is NOT harmful.
Social expectations and psychological shame aside, experience was my teacher and God my director. I ate whatever I wanted for years without worrying about being overweight (because I didn't gain weight), but my health problems stacked one on top of the other until at 33 I was miserable. God answered my prayer by directing me to consequences of eating the way I was, so I started to intervene with my "diet." I had to learn that I do need to "deprive" myself of some foods in order to salvage my health. It doesn't mean others are "bad" because they don't, it doesn't mean I'm "bad" for having certain food standards. It simply means I have learned there are consequences to certain eating behaviors and I've tried to find a solution that works for me. I share it with others in case it works for them.
There seems to be a core struggle just surviving in a fallen world that, like my teenager's problems, have little to do with right or wrong and have a lot to do with just living. I'm not scared of the word diet because I'm not forcing myself to do something I don't really want to do. The foods God created are satisfying and joyful to eat! Call having food standards what you will, it does not need to be accompanied with guilt and shame and self pity. I have gratitude and joy for the knowledge God has given me to live my life without fatigue, head aches, dizzy spells, ulcers, cysts, colds, constipation, depression, and insomnia.
I still don't follow my optimal diet lifestyle all the time. I'm not always patient, or kind, or brave, or grateful. I know once I've been given knowledge for me that certain behaviors are right or wrong I am accountable. We fail we try again, we fail we try again. That is how we learn. I long ago let go of excessive guilt because I know my Savior will make up for my errors, because I am trying and I love Him, and I testify that he is real. I have never met with Him, I have not seen angels, but I have felt His love, and been led by the Holy Ghost to know He lives. I am eternally grateful for His sacrifice for me and all God's children. All my writing, work, and service and struggle have been in an effort to point to and show my deep love for Jesus Christ.

FOODLOVE

After reading Marc David's book Nourishing Wisdom, I have changed my paradigm about fighting food corruptions. Instead of seeing it as a fight, I wish to see it as choosing life, taking responsibility, and loving myself and food. I changed the name of my Wise Food Mind program to a 8 step FOODLOVE acronym, because as I have realized the wisdom I've gained really illustrates that when you stop fighting it and start letting love and health motivate you, lasting change starts to occur. I;m ever learning! "Thus saith the Lord God I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more, and from them that shall say, We have enough, from then shall be taken away even that which they have." 2 Ne 28:30
I highly recommend David's book to anyone trying to change their relationship with food. It could even change your life. Here is my new program, the standards are still there, but the verbiage is more positive.

·         Food corruptions and awareness

·         Observe Inside Forces

·         Observe Outside Forces

·         Dare to change

·         Loving Food and Life

·         Optimal Diet Lifestyle

·         Vitality a Choice

·         Educating Family

Segments from NOURISHING WISDOM by Marc David

We are more than just a body, a tongue, and an assortment of nutritional requirements. We are a soul clothed in the elements of the earth, journeying in a realm where matter and spirit unite in human form. The body serves as a sacred vessel fashioned through millions of years of evolution to carry the spark of life, “the name of God,” as it were. Without that, we are nothing more than a lifeless collection of elements.

Eating is life. Each time we eat, the soul continues its earthly journey. With every morsel of food swallowed a voice within says, “I choose life. I choose to eat, for I yearn for something more.”

We are of a spiritual source. From it we emerge at birth, and to it we return at death. And whenever the spiritual source seems a faint memory, we yearn for its presence. Some call this yearning “religion” or “faith,” others call it “the quest for happiness” or “inner peace.” It is here in the spiritual realm that our journey into the mind of the eater begins. For beneath our nutritional theories, eating habits, and food obsessions, beneath our insecurities and embarrassment about the body, beneath any doubt as to the basic goodness of existence, there dwells within us a condition of wholeness born from the spiritual source. This is not a state of pristine perfection and eternal comfort where all problems disappear and we wallow in meditative mush. It is a condition of timeless identification with the Divine, where life and death, pleasure and pain, success and failure, happiness and discontent, are met with equal acceptance. It is a state of equanimity where we feel fully human, completely alive, and in love with life no matter what happens.

With this perspective, nutrition can now be seen in a new light. Placed within a spiritual context, the ultimate goal of any dietary philosophy is to take us fully into the body, and beyond the body. That is, by taking us fully into the body our dietary system must enable us to experience the maximum physical benefits of food-good health, the delight of eating, and the fulfillment of nutrient needs. By taking us fully beyond the body, our dietary philosophy must serve to remind us that we are feeding more than just a body. Nutrition not only keeps the body healthy and attractive, it maintains it as a vehicle in the service of the Divine. By nourishing the body with joy and reverence, we nourish the spark of life within the body. And when the body yields to disease and decay (which no amount of vegetables or vitamins can prevent), we are left with the knowledge that good nutrition is important but can take us only so far. The deeper nourishment that sustains heart and soul is what ultimately matters most.

Of course, it is important to explore the best foods for one’s body and the nutritional philosophies that seem most suited for one’s way of thinking. But without a spiritual foundation, nutritional knowledge can go only so far. Science can tell us what to eat, but it cannot pronounce upon the meaning of eating. We need something more to help us understand the richness, drama, emotions, sensuousness, and psychological significance of eating.

For some people health considerations alter diet for life. Special diets are crucial during chronic illnesses such as heart disease, liver disease, diabetes, and ulcers. Each of these medical conditions has a corresponding therapeutic diet with specific food guidelines to support or perhaps even heal the body.

Can you see how the five key factors—life-style, environment, season, age, and health—interact to create a ceaselessly changing diet? Do you still think it’s possible for a single, perfect diet to exist?

You can find nutritional information almost anywhere. Nutritional wisdom, though, is rare. There is no single perfect diet but many. Different dietary systems are effective for different people under different circumstances.

Even someone who follows no formal nutritional system is nevertheless operating upon a larger belief system on which the “nondiet” is based. For example, many people who want no rules or restrictions with diet and believe “anything goes” with eating often operate the belief that no relationship exists between cause and effect. Somehow, whatever they do in life or whatever they eat will not have future consequences, or so they hope. Because they secretly fear responsibility, they act as if responsibility were unnecessary.

Whenever you read diet books or listen to nutritional advice, remember you are probably receiving information from those who are reading their own bodies and translating it onto yours, presenting their philosophy of life through beliefs about diet, and proving their biases through scientific conclusions that can be interpreted in other ways. Of course, we expect to find useful information when consulting expert sources, but the reality is that most authorities see only a small part of the nutritional spectrum, and no matter how much information we gather, we must inevitable make our own nutritional choices. Ultimately, the most reasonable view is this: Diet will vary from person to person, from one week to the next, and no matter what happens, nothing will stay the same for long.

When we say to someone, “Don’t eat that food, it is bad for you,” what they often hear is “You are a bad person for eating that food.” To have someone judge our choice of food or simply believe they are judging us is experienced as an affront to our fundamental right to existence. Tolerance and respect for the food preferences of others is a crucial ingredient of eating. Consuming “bad” food has never turned anyone into a bad person nor has eating “good” food made anyone a saint.

Of all the ingredients in a meal, the “subtle” ingredients are the least observable but often the most easily felt. Have you noticed how food that is “offered” by someone tastes different from food you prepare for yourself. For me, even a cucumber tastes different if someone else cuts, peels, and serves it with love. Just as food absorbs the flavor of spices, it absorbs the attitudes of those who cook and serve it.

©2015 The Institute for the Psychology of Eating Marc David Nourishing Wisdom psychologyofeating.com