Overzealous

When you decide to fight the Standard American Diet, you have to be constantly vigilant about what you eat and don't eat and it's not only difficult but requires a healthy level of anxiety to keep you on your guard. This type of "anxious engagement" can resemble an eating disorder type mentality in some ways, and can be mistaken as such. I get lots of comments about "how skinny" I am, and it's not meant as a compliment, it's a genuine concern. Again, I understand, because when I see people who look too thin the first thing that pops in my head is "uh oh, they look anorexic, not good!" Yet my own body on no sugar looks starved and wasting away, and it is very likely that others perceive that I am being overzealous in my efforts, and I need to "eat some sugar" so I can get back to a "healthy" weight.

First, let me lay to rest any concerns on my behalf that I may be starving. I eat A LOT of food. Calorie restriction is not part of my regime, and even though I am very selective about where those calories come from, I get plenty of them. A typical day looks like this:
6:00 AM  eat a handful of almonds
water
7:30 AM breakfast-meat and veggie, occasional gluten free grain
water
10:00 AM snack of yogurt and fruit
water
12:30 lunch of soup, salad, meat or veggie, corn tortilla quesadilla or leftovers
water
3:30 snack of beef jerky or cheese
water
6:00 dinner of meat, veggie, fruit, potato or brown rice
water
8:00 non sweet smoothie or on special occasions healthy treat
more water
Of course it varies day by day, but keeping my blood sugar regulated is extremely important to me so I eat small amounts all day long, sometimes overfilling myself , but since that causes me discomfort I try not to eat too much at once.  Contrast this to a typical anorexic diet:
7:00 skip breakfast
12:00 granola bar for lunch
5:00 starving! eat hamburger and fries and 4 cookies, and throw it up after
There is no similarity whatsoever in what I am doing and what a person who is compelled to starve themselves due to paranoia about weight gain. There are reasons why I am thin, but calorie restriction is not one of them. I know the dangers of putting that kind of strain on my body, I know what it does to a person physically and mentally, and I urge anyone who does not eat regularly to get help. 

Second, allow me to defend myself for being overzealous. Since banning all sugary processed and refined foods I have never had one headache, dizzy spell, or "brain fog" which before occurred regularly for several years. I could barely use 3 or 5 pound weights when working out just 2 years ago and now I'm using 8 pounds twice a week in addition to my running two miles twice a week. I feel smarter and have a clear intellect, whereas before I felt I was losing my mind.  I still have struggles feeling depressed during my menstruation because of the ovarian cyst pain, but it doesn't last for more than a day, and its magical how I will wake up in the morning feeling excited about life instead of weighed down by it no matter how hard the day before was. My anxiety levels are down 90% and my sleeping is more consistently good than it has been since before I was married. Weight loss has never been my goal, but I did discover I was carrying around 20 lbs extra weight and its gone, all the visceral and subcutaneous fat cells went away with no sugar fueling them. I have always had small muscle mass and small bones, my parents used to call me "starving african child" when I was little because I had such small limbs and a pot belly, and they had to reassure people that they were feeding me, so the fact I look so thin has more to do with genetic makeup than intake.  Interestingly enough, when I was heavier was when I felt I was wasting away, and now my strength is back and my "youth renewed like an eagle" (Psalm 103). 
When I was eating sugar I was doing a similar thing as someone with an eating disorder and didn't know it. Even though I carried more weight, I was constantly depleting my system by overworking my pancreas, liver, and heart in the processing, burning, and storing too much sugar and then feeling a crash and going into starvation mode when my blood sugar got too low, desperately craving any food I could get my hands on and then starting the whole thing over again. Sugar/refined foods taxes your whole body!

Not everyone is as sugar sensitive as myself, but for me, I have experienced a profound positive life-giving change in being overzealous in keeping refined foods and sugar out of my diet, and I will continue to demonize sugar for the rest of my life, which I firmly believe will extend my life.

  PSALM 103

 2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

 3 Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;

 4 Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

 5 Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

My new life

I had a friend call me a few years back and ask what vitamin supplements I take, because I had written on my blog that my kids all get head colds but I never get them and I had told my kids it was because I take my vitamins. I told her what I was taking, and then I added that I think the main reason why I don't get sick is because I don't eat sugar, so there isn't much for sick bugs to thrive on. Silence followed.  Awkward silence. I had my first of many experiences with people giving me blank looks and silence when I tell them the answer is "don't eat sugar," because what do you say to someone who claims sugar is poison? People generally have no response to that. And that's if they are being polite, sometimes they do have a response -- to "help me see reason" or question my new found knowledge. Sometimes they just plain disagree. 
I understand, because I love sugary refined convenient foods too, I miss them, I don't like having to figure out a way to cook without them, I don't like having to abstain from them, and I especially I don't like making other people feel uncomfortable for partaking of them in front of me; my new life is hard.
My daughter said to me today "Remember the good old days when we had chimichangas in the freezer and ramen noodles in the pantry?" I asked her to stop talking about it, one of the more emotionally painful parts of trying to detox myself and my family from sugar and refined foods is watching my children "suffer" because of it. They politely decline candy, they don't get ice cream cones when everyone else is, they can't grab a bowl of cereal, they have to cook their food, and I'm the reason for it. I know its extremely important or I wouldn't do it, but I still feel bad. Its one thing to deprive myself but another entirely to deprive my children. They do not want for anything, we have an abundance of healthy food, but they feel deprived, and its hard to watch.
Sometimes I wish the authors of my books were my close friends. I long for a friend who has the same sugar standards as I do, who sees being careful about what you eat a virtue instead of obsessive compulsive. I feel very alone sometimes. Having overcome the sugar cravings and had my hedonic (reward) pleasure centers of my brain return to normal so I find pleasure in eating healthy food makes it easier, but I still mourn for the loss of the girl who could eat brownies at social events, eat ice cream sundaes on my birthday, have candy and popcorn at the movies, enjoy a hot roll with my dinner, have a white bread sandwich with peanut butter and jelly. And when people tell me I'm too skinny or too worried about it, or make ignorant comments about what they think is an appropriate diet, I feel bad even though I know there is not offense meant on their part. I know the Lord is with me and I'm not alone, and considering everything I say about has already been said by experts before I know I'm the caboose of this train, but I sometimes feel like I'm blazing a trail and no one is following, and it makes me wonder often "Am I the crazy one? Do the people who have taught me about nutrition and dangers of sugar ever feel this way?" I wish I could ask them.
I was feeling very discouraged last week when I saw a mormon message by Stephanie Nielson, the LDS woman who was in a fire and survived but looked completely different and has daily trials due to her injuries. Her new life is hard, but from her own words she is a better person because of it and has a clear sense of purpose and mission in life now. Her words filled me with strength.
"I am not my body. I pray and then I get answers and then I do it. Today I got up and did the routine. I was in the laundry room folding clothes, and I went to the closet. A wave of emotion took me over. I missed me again, I mourned for the woman I used to be. I felt that familiar sadness. But it was followed by a confirmation that this is my new life. It is good. It is oh so good. And then I felt...it was still me. I know there's more to life than [physical beauty], I'm grateful that I'm here on earth to be a mother, I view my role now as more divine, something more, not just a mother that wakes up and makes her kids food, its a mother who enriches and teaches her children about the gospel of Jesus Christ. Its a privilege. To me beauty and motherhood are one, they are the same thing. There is a plan for us, its a plan that will ultimately give us the greatest joy and happiness that we will experience. Its only possible through Jesus Christ. I'm grateful for this trial, and its a blessing, even though its hard and its challenging and it will be for a while. I think my relationship with Heavenly Father before was really good, and now is really good, but spiritually now I have a better sense of who I am and what my divine purpose is, what I'm doing here on Earth, why I'm still here. Life has a different meaning to me than it did before." --Stephanie Nielson
I echo her words. It is challenging to live without sugar and gluten, but it is still a good life. Very good. And I can use these challenges as opportunities to teach my children my testimony: how our sacrifices in eating can be viewed as something positive, as an expression of gratitude to God for the miraculous bodies he has created for us; how my efforts are an expression of faith doing something   Heavenly Father asked me to do even though sometimes I don't know why or how I'm going to make it another day; how God healed me. I also can make sure my clients are in a good place physically in addition to mentally which was a very big missing link in past client cases. I have a clearer purpose as a mother, as a home maker, as a therapist, and as a daughter of God. My new life is harder, but better.
"Anyone who has studied the human body can see the workings of God in his divine creation. The many amazing attributes of your body attribute to your divine nature. The apostle Paul described it as "a temple of God."  How could this be?  Because your body is the temple for your spirit, and how you use your body affects your spirit. God is the father of our spirits.  We were created in the image of God. Development of the spirit is of eternal consequence, and when we truly know our divine nature, then we will control our appetites--we will focus our eyes on sights and our ears on sounds and our  minds on thoughts that are a credit to our physical creation as a temple of our Father in Heaven. For these physical gifts, thanks be to God." Russell M. Nelson

Gluten sensitive

When I was seeing Dr. Corry trying to figure out why I was having headaches, dizzy spells, chronic fatigue, and anxiety, I suggested maybe I had celiac disorder and shouldn't eat gluten.  He stated that he didn't even need to test me for that, because if I had celiac I would have diarrhea, which I did not, and dietary restrictions would test it well enough--all my symptoms would go away if I stopped eating gluten.  So I tried to go for a month off any wheat or gluten. After a month trying to change my diet to eat rice instead of wheat, (but not changing other sugar/refined food eating habits) I felt the same adverse symptoms, so I figured I was not gluten sensitive.  

Oh how little my doctor and I knew about gluten. Let us have Dr. Perlmutter, a board certified neurologist from Florida, enlighten us.

"Gluten--which is Latin for "glue"--is a protein composite that acts as an adhesive material, holding flour together to make bread products.  Most of the soft, chewing bread products available today own their gumminess to gluten. Most Americans consume gluten through wheat, but gluten is found in a variety of grains including rye, barley, spelt, kamut, and bulgur. Its one of the most common food additives on the planet and is used not only in processed foods, but also in personal care products. 

"Gluten is not a single molectule; its acutally made up of two main groups of proteins, the glutenins and the gliadins.  A person may be sensitive to either of these proteins or to one of the twelve different smaller units that make up gliadin. Any of these could cause a sensitivity reaction leading to inflammation. 

"When I speak to patients about gluten sensitivty, one of the first things they say is something like, 'Well, I don't have celiac disease. I've been tested!' I do my best to explain that there's a huge difference between celiac disease and gluten sensitivity. Celiac disease, also know as sprue, is an extreme manifestation of gluten sensitivity, that happens when an allergic reaction to gluten causes damage specifically to the small intestine.  Extreme reactions that trigger an autoimmune condition such as celiac aside, the key to understanding gluten sensitivity is that it can involve any organ in the body, even if the small intestine is completely spared. Food sensitivities can occur if the body lacks the right enzymes to digest ingredients in foods. In the case of gluten, its "sticky" attribute interferes with the breakdown and absorption of nutrients. As you can imagine, poorly digested food leads to a pasty residue in your gut, which alerts the immune system to leap into action, eventually resulting in an assault on the lining of the small intestine. Remember that when a body negatively reacts to food, it attempts to control the damage by sending out inflammatory messenger molecules to label the food particles as enemies. This leads the immune system to keep sending out inflammatory chemicals, killer cells among them, in a bid to wipe out the enemies. 99 percent of people whose immune systems react negatively to gluten don't even know it. Moreover, people with gluten sensitivity can have issues with brain function without having any gastrointestinal problems whatsoever."

 

I didn't have any notable improvements in health in 2012 when I tried to go off gluten, one because I didn't realize how many foods contained gluten I was still eating, and two because I was still eating many covert-sugar filled foods.  However, after I completed my 21 day sugar/grain detox, and tried again to start eating wheat again, I did have a negative reaction! Time after time in my food diary I would write "bloated" "sick" and "depressed" after eating wheat bread I made myself. And interestingly instead of craving sugar now I was craving bread with a vengeance.  How could I suddenly be gluten sensitive? I wondered. I always was, but like so many out there, I didn't realize the havoc it was wreaking on my body until I completely eliminated it and my body had a chance to recover. Gluten, like sugar, is a blood brain barrier crossing food that wreaks havoc on our cells without our knowing it, and there is 44% more of it in the food we eat today than 100 years ago.

  

"Gluten is our generations tobacco. Gluten sensitivity is far more prevalent than we realize potentially harming all of us to some degree without our knowing it, and gluten is hiding where you least suspect it. It's in our seasonings, condiments, cereals, cocktails, cosmetics, hand cream, and ice cream. Its disguised in soups, sweeteners, and soy products. Its tucked into our nutritional supplements and brand name pharmaceuticals. But even casing the gluten factor aside, I should point out that one of the main reasons why consuming so many grains and carbs can be so harmful is that they raise blood sugar in ways other foods such as meat and vegetables do not.
"Its important to note that the rise in gluten sensitivity is not only the outcome of hyper-exposure to gluten in today's engineered foods. It's also the result of too much sugar and too many pro-inflammatory foods. We can also make a case for the impact of environmental toxins, which can change how our genes express themselves and whether or not autoimmune signals start to fire. Each of these ingredients--gluten, sugar, pro-inflammatory foods, and environmental toxins--combines to create a perfect storm in the body, and especially the brain.

Its time we created new standards for what it means to be "gluten sensitive." The problem with gluten is far more serious than anyone ever imagined, and its impact on society is far greater than we've ever estimated."
--David Perlmutter, Grain Brain

Step 3: Pray

When I decided I was going to "eat clean" April 1 2014, I was terrified.  Could I really do this?  This time around I had no false pretenses that I was strong enough and determined enough to meet my goal, I felt weak and small against the Goliath of food culture I was facing. The only reason I was able to "hold the vision, trust the process" was because I felt in my mind this was God's answer to me after a show of faith that I knew He could heal me; it was divinely mandated.  Had it been a suggestion from a friend or family member or an idea out of a book, (and I'd had plenty of those in previous years), I would not have had the determination to see it through.

This journey may well be one of the most difficult you ever take, it is for me, and you will need the help of The Almighty to get through it.  The difficulty that a recovering drug addict faces who never can touch his/her drug of choice again is the closest example of the torment you will go through indefinitely. In fact, we are no different than a drug addict considering the onslaught of addictive gluten, sugar, pro-inflammatory foods, and environmental toxins you will now be trying to eliminate from your body. You will first physically crave those foods, next emotionally miss your food, and third psychologically yearn for your food you always enjoyed. You may miss it for the rest of your life.

You will need a reason to do this more than skin deep, the health of your gut and brain won't be enough of a motivation, it must be an eternal determination to yourself and to God that you are going to do whatever you can in your power to cleanse your body and preserve your life. I had to start looking at eating sugar as a sin because "where much is given much is expected," now that I knew from God there were dangers for me to ingest sugar, it was literally sinful for me to continue living that way.  I still pray for strength, pray for help, pray for direction, pray for comfort, pray for patience.  And pray for courage. "Courage is not merely a virtue, but the form of every virtue at the testing point." It is hard to go to events and watch people eating that third piece of cake, have the chicken salad while you go without because of the mayo and croissant, enjoy gravy, rolls, dessert and sugary drinks. I'm still wondering when it will get easier, maybe it never will, it's always emotionally draining; however, the Lord fills me with His Spirit, and I know I am feasting on a figurative "Bread of Life" which is for me more important and significant than temporal satisfaction.

Scriptures also help me to gain insight about staying strong despite outward and inward opposition to this endeavor. Much of what I have learned in research contradicts what I thought was right, like "its not what enters the man that defileth him, but what comes out of a man" or "take no thought for the body, but take thought for the soul" or "wheat is ordained for the use of man."  For these conundrums I had to turn to the Lord in prayer, and every time he answered my prayer and helped me understand what I personally needed to know and keep doing.  Certain principles are intended for all, certain are intended for some and not others, and certain are intended for me alone, for I am like all others in some ways, like some others in some ways, and like no others in some ways. And some principles just plain change based on what is going on historically!  (Circumcision, cleansing rituals, law of consecration, etc.) If you pray in faith God will direct you for good, advocate your cause, and lead you by the hand, whether you realize it or not.

Step 2: Do your research

There is an abundance of damage that may be happening to our bodies without any adverse symptoms to let us know. The food diary will help us with obvious digestive issues and help us see when the brain is being affected because we get moody and depressed, however, it won't help us know what damage is being done on a microscopic level.  Less obvious long term damage caused by diet includes inflammation that may be occurring that doesn't cause pain now but will in the future, brain damage on a molecular level, fat cells being comfortably formed, and functional but borderline high or low levels of blood sugar that cause strain on all our organs without spiking or crashing us.  Start reading not only food labels but the latest science on controversial foods we eat.

Although some books may seem extreme, even to the point of turning everything you thought you knew about food upside down, they provide valuable insight into what effects food can cause and give you meaning and purpose behind your resolve to keep yourself healthy.  For example, in "Grain Brain" Dr. Perlmutter exposes possible negative effects gluten may have been causing us all for centuries, and what he in his experience has found may help people with health problems who have "tried everything" medical but found benefits from eating a gluten free diet. You will be scared to eat wheat after reading, but that will fade and you will at the least be left being very cautious about how much gluten you consume.  In "Fat Chance" Dr. Lustig explains scientifically what is going on in our hormones and digestion when we ingest sugar and refined food, like how sugar turns off the hormone Leptin which tells your body when your caloric intake is sufficient for the amount of energy you expend, and explains how our food industry in the past 30 years has turned obesity from a personal accountability problem to a victim of our culture problem. You will be aware of the problem and it will give you power in fighting being a victim because you will know what and who the real enemy is.  In "Diabesity" Dr Kaufman talks about her experience with the obesity diabetes epidemic, how it is affecting over half the population and if you aren't one of the lucky ones affected now it certainly will affect you eventually, and what we must to do stop it.  You will leave her book realizing even though its "not affecting me" it is indeed affecting you, and certainly will affect our children, and we all must do something about it.

There are many other great books to read about blood sugar and food science, and the truths will start to become evident as you read different opinions, date, and experiences.  For example, all three above authors including others (i.e. Diane Sanfilippo and Leslie Korn) agree on one thing: it's not cholesterol that is the killer, in fact our brains need cholesterol to function properly and omitting fats in favor of carbs is a deadly mistake. Slow death, yes, but death nonetheless. Walk about different from what we all have been taught for centuries from health organizations and food industries!  Dr. Perlmutter states, "Cholesterol is a critical brain nutrient essential for the function of neurons, and it plays a fundamental role as a building block of the cell membrain. It acts as an antioxidant and a precursor to improtant brain-supporting elelments like vitamin D as well as the steroid related hormones (e.g, sex hormones such as testosterone and estrogen). Most important, cholesterol is looked upon as an essential fuel for the neurons... 
And now we have the evidence in the scientific literature to prove that when cholesterol levels are low, the brain simply doesn't work well; individuals with low cholesterol are at much greater risk for dementia and other neurological problems. We need to change our attitudes about cholesterol and even LDL (low density lipoprotein); they are our friends, not foes. You'll soon see that we've been barking up the wrong tree--blaming cholesterol, and LDL especially, when coronary artery disease has more to do with oxidized LDL. And how does LDL become so damaged that it's no longer able to deliver cholesterol to the brain? On of the most common ways is through physical modification by glucose. Sugar molecules attach themselves to LDL and change the molecule's shape, rendering it less useful while increasing free radical production."

Again it's the sugar which is demonized, and rightly so. Sugar depletes, and it causes imbalances in many many ways. But you don't understand that unless you do the research. I never would have know that taking pancreatic enzymes would help my sugar damaged, gluten damaged, genetically vulnerable body absorb my food better if I hadn't done my research.  Research gives you armor and weapons, and without it the determination, the know-how, or even the desire to fight this battle will be missing!  In many ways I'm on the caboose of this train, many people before me have said what I want to say, but many still refuse to see and understand and are letting themselves fall prey to the food culture.  I've managed to escape the snare and want the same for you.  I'm asking you to take this journey with me.