My new life

I had a friend call me a few years back and ask what vitamin supplements I take, because I had written on my blog that my kids all get head colds but I never get them and I had told my kids it was because I take my vitamins. I told her what I was taking, and then I added that I think the main reason why I don't get sick is because I don't eat sugar, so there isn't much for sick bugs to thrive on. Silence followed.  Awkward silence. I had my first of many experiences with people giving me blank looks and silence when I tell them the answer is "don't eat sugar," because what do you say to someone who claims sugar is poison? People generally have no response to that. And that's if they are being polite, sometimes they do have a response -- to "help me see reason" or question my new found knowledge. Sometimes they just plain disagree. 
I understand, because I love sugary refined convenient foods too, I miss them, I don't like having to figure out a way to cook without them, I don't like having to abstain from them, and I especially I don't like making other people feel uncomfortable for partaking of them in front of me; my new life is hard.
My daughter said to me today "Remember the good old days when we had chimichangas in the freezer and ramen noodles in the pantry?" I asked her to stop talking about it, one of the more emotionally painful parts of trying to detox myself and my family from sugar and refined foods is watching my children "suffer" because of it. They politely decline candy, they don't get ice cream cones when everyone else is, they can't grab a bowl of cereal, they have to cook their food, and I'm the reason for it. I know its extremely important or I wouldn't do it, but I still feel bad. Its one thing to deprive myself but another entirely to deprive my children. They do not want for anything, we have an abundance of healthy food, but they feel deprived, and its hard to watch.
Sometimes I wish the authors of my books were my close friends. I long for a friend who has the same sugar standards as I do, who sees being careful about what you eat a virtue instead of obsessive compulsive. I feel very alone sometimes. Having overcome the sugar cravings and had my hedonic (reward) pleasure centers of my brain return to normal so I find pleasure in eating healthy food makes it easier, but I still mourn for the loss of the girl who could eat brownies at social events, eat ice cream sundaes on my birthday, have candy and popcorn at the movies, enjoy a hot roll with my dinner, have a white bread sandwich with peanut butter and jelly. And when people tell me I'm too skinny or too worried about it, or make ignorant comments about what they think is an appropriate diet, I feel bad even though I know there is not offense meant on their part. I know the Lord is with me and I'm not alone, and considering everything I say about has already been said by experts before I know I'm the caboose of this train, but I sometimes feel like I'm blazing a trail and no one is following, and it makes me wonder often "Am I the crazy one? Do the people who have taught me about nutrition and dangers of sugar ever feel this way?" I wish I could ask them.
I was feeling very discouraged last week when I saw a mormon message by Stephanie Nielson, the LDS woman who was in a fire and survived but looked completely different and has daily trials due to her injuries. Her new life is hard, but from her own words she is a better person because of it and has a clear sense of purpose and mission in life now. Her words filled me with strength.
"I am not my body. I pray and then I get answers and then I do it. Today I got up and did the routine. I was in the laundry room folding clothes, and I went to the closet. A wave of emotion took me over. I missed me again, I mourned for the woman I used to be. I felt that familiar sadness. But it was followed by a confirmation that this is my new life. It is good. It is oh so good. And then I felt...it was still me. I know there's more to life than [physical beauty], I'm grateful that I'm here on earth to be a mother, I view my role now as more divine, something more, not just a mother that wakes up and makes her kids food, its a mother who enriches and teaches her children about the gospel of Jesus Christ. Its a privilege. To me beauty and motherhood are one, they are the same thing. There is a plan for us, its a plan that will ultimately give us the greatest joy and happiness that we will experience. Its only possible through Jesus Christ. I'm grateful for this trial, and its a blessing, even though its hard and its challenging and it will be for a while. I think my relationship with Heavenly Father before was really good, and now is really good, but spiritually now I have a better sense of who I am and what my divine purpose is, what I'm doing here on Earth, why I'm still here. Life has a different meaning to me than it did before." --Stephanie Nielson
I echo her words. It is challenging to live without sugar and gluten, but it is still a good life. Very good. And I can use these challenges as opportunities to teach my children my testimony: how our sacrifices in eating can be viewed as something positive, as an expression of gratitude to God for the miraculous bodies he has created for us; how my efforts are an expression of faith doing something   Heavenly Father asked me to do even though sometimes I don't know why or how I'm going to make it another day; how God healed me. I also can make sure my clients are in a good place physically in addition to mentally which was a very big missing link in past client cases. I have a clearer purpose as a mother, as a home maker, as a therapist, and as a daughter of God. My new life is harder, but better.
"Anyone who has studied the human body can see the workings of God in his divine creation. The many amazing attributes of your body attribute to your divine nature. The apostle Paul described it as "a temple of God."  How could this be?  Because your body is the temple for your spirit, and how you use your body affects your spirit. God is the father of our spirits.  We were created in the image of God. Development of the spirit is of eternal consequence, and when we truly know our divine nature, then we will control our appetites--we will focus our eyes on sights and our ears on sounds and our  minds on thoughts that are a credit to our physical creation as a temple of our Father in Heaven. For these physical gifts, thanks be to God." Russell M. Nelson