Origin Story of my book

“Hey honey, this year I’ve made a goal to lift weights and get more toned!”

“Awesome! I’ve always wanted a more toned wife. I will do it with you.”

So began 2014, a pledge between my husband and myself to get up early every Tuesday and Thursday and turn on Jillian Michaels and pump iron. After two weeks of sore muscles and little results in muscle definition, my dizzy spells came back.

I’d been suffering with weird physical health issues for 3 years, and been trying to combat them with healthier food and more exercise, and I thought I’d done a pretty good job until I threw my body off balance trying to “get toned.”  My doctor was no help, in fact, because of my difficult mental health history, he tried to put me on Zoloft to get rid of the dizzy spells, head aches, and fatigue, even though I’d gotten through graduate school without any medication and certainly didn’t feel I needed any now.  I’d read books and been to cooking classes and completely eliminated overt sugars, why am I dizzy again?

I decided this time to turn to God, and I exercised as much faith as I could muster in asking Him to heal me. The result was a phone call from an acquaintance down the street. “Hey, I noticed you don’t serve refreshments or sugar at church meetings. I admire that! I have a book you might like.”

Oh, great, I thought. Another book from an anti-sugar extremist telling me all my problems are due to sugar. But it came to me after an exercise of faith…so I read “Sugar Blues” by William Dufty, and yes it was more anti-sugar circumlocution, but this time I felt it was an answer from heaven just for me. I started to change my diet with religious fervor.

My elimination of all overt, covert and refined sugars and grains started April 1^st, and thus my adventure in pain was born. This was not a quick fix, and I was not patient. The only thing that kept me going was the indisputable fact that those dizzy spells left with the sugars. I wanted to quit many times, but “some miracles take time” kept replaying in my head and drowned out the opposition. My sweet sister actually took me aside and started crying because she was so worried I had let my anxieties about food become an obsession that would hurt me. And then there were the negative thoughts in my own head.

 “Why me? It’s not fair! Why is it ok for everyone else to eat bad and not for me?”

And then there were the problems, it seemed every negative health problem I fixed was replaced with a new problem: ovarian cysts, bloating, bowel irregularity, ulcers.  But if I ever tried to “go back” it was infinitely worse. And I couldn’t ignore the plus side, I did lose a lot of weight and had way more energy to lift weights, and I got way more toned! I didn’t seem to have those bi-monthly migraines any more.

I kept reading books, kept being led to more information that helped me understand my metabolic type and how to heal.  And…in February 2015 I started noticing lasting change. My passion for learning was back, in fact I felt smart again. My stomach was rarely bloated and I was more regular. I didn’t have the mood dysregulation I used to have and I didn’t have to spend all day in the kitchen preparing food. I was sleeping through the night consistently. I wanted to live instead of wanting to die! I felt like the miracle had arrived at last!

With patience and persistence, my story became a success story.

Accountable

I have started the writing course by Bill O'Hanlan and it is wonderful! I'm starting to get ecstatic about writing and feel the passion return of writing my convictions regarding harmful foods. I have to admit something about the way I write in my blog just seems to turn people away, and Bill is helping me find ways to simply and tactfully focus my words in a way people will want to hear. Providence is moving with me, I know because I keep having light and knowledge pour into my mind as I come to a crossroads, even when I'm not seeking it. Here is the evidence:
1. One of the first lectures in the module was about accountability groups. There are hundreds of people taking the online course and I didn't see a realistic way to create an accountability group with a few strangers among the hundreds enrolled, so I thought I'd have to skip that step. The very same afternoon a lady in my neighborhood called me and stated she was trying to do a 30 day sugar free challenge, and she knew I was passionate about that, but she needs an accountability group to help her through it and would I be willing or able to do that? I about doubled over laughing! Why yes, in fact I need an accountability group myself to keep my momentum going for a book I'm trying to write about this very thing, if you will hold me accountable, I will hold you accountable! We met a few days later and reviewed our goals and how we can help each other and she has already been a great support. Coincidence? No way.
2. I was really stuck about the "promise" I was offering my readers, because it seemed like there were so many books out there on nutrition and mental health, or weight loss, or how food affects the body and brain, I wasn't sure what made me unique to hold a place on the shelf. I was able to tap into a coaching call from the director and someone else had a similar question, and he asked her "what's missing from all those other books what do they have wrong? What haven't you ever heard or seen as you read books on the subject your passionate about." And it hit me like a bolt of lightening, it isn't just bout the connection between food and mental health, I have the skills to help with the HOW to overcome the forces keeping people eating what they want. I only see weight loss books that talk about cravings, and I want to help people with mental health issues who are weak in their resolve already know how to realistically and permanently overcome cravings, fight the mind chatter that justifies and rationalizes, and challenge the social and environmental messages telling them its no big deal. I was able to connect with Bill and tell him his coaching had already helped me find the gap and he was totally thrilled. It was exhilarating.
3. I was stuck on the population piece of the puzzle too. It's so tempting to think "This book could help EVERYONE!" but that is exactly what Bill told us not to think. I was trying to narrow it down but couldn't figure out what to do, LDS women? My clients? Mental or medical health professionals? Mother's of young children? No matter what I thought it seemed to exclude people that needed it and I couldn't settle on it. On Sunday morning when I was determined to NOT think about the book and give my brain a break, my husband spontaneously wanted to talk about it, and so I told him I was stuck on the population and he was totally all for the mothers of young children population. Think about who has sought your advice and help? Moms! You could get this on a mommy blog and it could take off. They are desperate for help to know how to eat better and what to serve their children they will like and won't take all day to prepare. You are a mental health professional but you are also a mom!  You could really help them. So I got unstuck and settled on a population, and Bill said it was clear and focused, and it helped me flesh out my "prescription" better! In fact I wrote the most brilliant 9 step acronym for my program that could only have been inspired by the Holy Ghost.

So God is with me, I feel strongly that writing a book is the right thing to do, and maybe after all the light and knowledge and direction he has given me to heal maybe I'm accountable to share that with others. I have hopes it will help change things or at least give some people an escape from needless pain. Here is what I wrote today in the Passion worksheet:

I'm afraid to tell people sugar is poisoning their bodies because so many people think it's harmless, so many people love sugar, and so many people don't care if it is harmful. I'm afraid mom's will hate my book because it makes them feel guilty instead of inspired, or that it will make people think "I could never do that" instead of converted to the idea that it needs to happen. I don't want my book to create hopelessness, I want it to spur people to action. I've been dismissed by so many people, they ask me what they can do to improve their health and when I tell them "get rid of the sugar" they never want to speak to me again. Maybe I'm saying it in an overwhelming way, or a not convincing enough way, but people just seem to see me as extreme and either "too hard" or "so not worth it" or not even a big enough of a problem to care so much about. I couldn't even convince my own husband to stop, he still eats sugar on special occasions or if that's what's available. I shared a whole lecture with my supervisor on the dangers of sugar and it didn't seem to change his views on food and mood. I've sent my sugar free recipe book to 10 people who don't do a thing with it.  I have a blog with zero followers.  I feel like William Wilberforce, no matter how much I try to help others the way I've been helped, it falls on deaf ears and doesn't change a thing. I'm afraid nothing will change.

If I weren't afraid or ashamed I would do what I'm doing, write a book so that the convictions I hold will not die within me, and I will know even if no one listens, I shared what I know, and their pain was their own decision and not because "no one ever told me."

Nutrition and Mental Health

I want to write a book, and I'm thinking of writing about nutrition and mental health. I signed up for a three month "coaching through the process of writing and publishing" course, so I'm committed to write something. I have lots of ideas and want to organize them and get them out of my head and on paper even though I'm not even sure who my audience is. Mental health professionals? Nutritionists? People overcoming depression? LDS/Christian faith? People trying to lose weight? I don't know. I'm hoping those answers will come as I go through the course.

I would like to outline here what I'm working on in the event that someone wants to hear the information I've learned about diet and mood, most if not all of it will probably end up in the book, and this blog has served as writing practice on this especial subject.

Nutrition and Mental Health

i. Introduction

            A. summary of contents

            B. personal experience

           

I. Gut to Brain Axis

A. Neurology

            1. Brain Cells: Neurons

            2. Right Brain Left Brain

            3. Emotional Brain

            4. Logical Brain

            5. Vagus Nerve

            6. Neurotransmitters

B. Digestion

            1.Five processes

                  a. Mechanical processing and movement: chewing, mixing

                  b. Secretion: fluid, digestive enzymes and hormones, bile, acid, alkali, mucus

                  c. Digestion: breaking down food to smallest absorbable units

                  d. Absorption: through mucosa into blood or lymph vessels

                  e. Elimination: undigested material eliminated

            2. Key players: mouth, stomach, small intestine, pancreas, liver, gall bladder, large

                        intestine...and neurotransmitters, hormones

C. Connections

            1. Digestion

                        a. leaking gut  
                        b. motility and malabsorption issues
                        c. blood sugar dysregulation
            2.Brain function

                        a. Immune response

                        b. misfiring when to stimulate hormones

                        c. cravings and mood swings

D. Importance of nutrition

            1. Not just about obesity or anorexia
            2. Inflammatory vs Functional
            3. Food and Mood
            4. Gut=second brain, Neurotransmitters first produced in the gut

E. Importance of the nervous system

            1. Parasympathetic vs Sympathetic responses

            2. Nervous system ties all the systems together

            3. Trauma/Brain dysfunction/Stress affect digestion

            4. Wholistic approach to healing instead of focus on symptom

II. Rise in physical and mental health issues

A. Evolution of food

1. The Standard American Diet has become a SAD diet: move away from whole foods

2. Elimination of fat in food has led to adding sugar to improve taste

3. 44% more gluten in wheat today than 100 years ago

4. Refined foods subsidized by government funds and accessible and affordable

5. Additives, preservatives, artificial sweeteners, and refined sugars toxic, in 80% of food products

6. 1980 “adult onset diabetes” now called Type 2 diabetes: 50000 children and adolescents diagnosed

B. Recent Epidemics linked to digestive issues

1. Obesity, 1 in 2 Americans overweight

2. Type 2 Diabetes, a disease of the last century

3. Mood disorders, cognitive dysfunction, and sleep disturbance

4. Fibromyalgia

5. Food allergies, celiac, SIBO, Leaky gut

6. Chronic fatigue syndrome

7. Temporomandibular disorder

8. Irritable bowel syndrome

9. Dizzy spells, fatigue, headaches, “brain fog”

10. ADHD, Alzheimers, Autism, Anxiety

11. "Hypoglycemic" complex

12. Addiction

C. What do the experts suggest?

            1.Contradictions between experts

            2."Lists" of do's and don't's

            3. Medical model vs functional medicine

                        a. doctors vs nutritionists

                        b. natural vs man made

            4. General consensus: balance

III. Three Realms of Human Experience

A. Biological realm

            1.What foods help what?

                        a. Still learning about this: shift away from SAD
                        b. Choose nutrient dense foods
                        c. Protein source vital
                        d. Probiotics?
                        e. Supplements?
                        f. Whole foods vs refined foods (JERF, FED UP, EAT REAL)

                        g. Demonize one food? man-made refined sugars

            2. What is your metabolic type?

                        a. no one right diet for everyone, everyone has a different genetic "weak link"

            b. What is your metabolic evolution?

                  c. Some metabolize glucose faster than others, even within families

            d. Fast oxidizers, slow oxidizers, mixed

            e. What is your muscle mass?

            f. Is your blood sugar regulation off balance?

            g. Sugar/gluten sensitivity manifests different for different people

            h. Start paying attention to how you feel after you eat

            3. Compromised gut integrity

                        a. stomach acid and pH levels

                        b. once you are out of balance, host of problems

                        c. personal history with IBS

                        d. your issue will be different, but still issues!
B. Psychological realm

            1. Thinking errors and food

                        a. Beware All or Nothing Thinking error and food

                        b. What is your mind chatter regarding food?

                        c. Achieve balance mentally as well as physically

                        d. Overthinking what we eat or underthinking what we eat problematic

                        e. We do thinking errors to food, causes problems!

            f. Goal: Base our view of food and nutrition on truth not distortions

            2. Mindful Eating

                        a. importance of saying “grace”

                        b. Take time to sit and eat

                        c. Chew your food

                        d.Notice when you are full

                        e. Write down your mood/digestive response

            3. Anger/bitterness/fear vs acceptance or change

                        a. positive psychology and law of attraction

                        b. acceptance paradox: letting it go

                        c. pain a message: what is your body telling you?

                        d. stop silencing you body

C. Environmental Realm

            1. Stress toxic, sparks nervous system response

                        a. modern lifestyle: death by a million cuts

                        b. Breathe

                        c. Exercise/Stretch

                        d. Mindfulness

                        e. Relaxation

                        f .Rest

                        e. fun

            2. Do what you can, can't avoid all toxins

                        a. constraints in what is available

                        b. time constraints

                        c. social expectations

            3. Live in a land of plenty, because we can doesn't mean we should

ii. Conclusion

Conundrum

After reading the last post, you may be starting to conceptualize my conundrum.  I have a blood sugar regulation problem (thanks Dad), am a fast oxidizer, therefore when I eat sugars starches and simple carbs it causes a lot of digestive and mood problems. I have IBS (thanks Mom) with no known cause other than "I don't get food out of my stomach fast enough" and therefore have difficulty processing fats and have twice been told to stop eating fat or it will cause digestive issues, which it does. So I process simple molecules too quickly and complex molecules too slowly, so what do I eat? Before you attempt to answer that keep in mind that 2 tablespoons of peanut butter have more fat than a whole package of bacon. There is fat in A LOT of foods, and there is sugar and simple carbs in A  LOT of foods.  I feel like a mouse caught in a maze and not sure how to get to the end.

Do I just take the good with the bad, eat a balanced meal, and take the subsequent pain "like a man"? Even the lovely 20 day Clean Out I designed for this blog and for my body does not take fat into consideration. Oils, nuts, coconut milk are just three examples that contain fat and are used abundantly in my meal plan. I would like your feedback as to what kind of diet I should try, I'm a difficult one to figure out! It's no wonder the "healthiest" eater in the world who has done "everything possible" to heal her gut and brain still can't heal.

My current dietary ideas are as follows, but as you see in parenthesis, don't completely eliminate sugar/fat.

Upon arising: Kefir (some fat some sugar but nice probiotics good for IBS)
Breakfast: 2 boiled eggs and grapefruit (cholesterol, fructose but no oil and naturally occurring sugar and fiber)
Snack: beef jerky (animal fat)
Lunch: green salad with salmon, lemon, side of blueberries, strawberries, almonds, no dressing (fish oil, almond oil, FODMAP, fructose in berries)
Snack: banana cacao coconut milk (fat in milk, sugar in milk)
Dinner: Baked potato with olive oil and spice or chives, green tea (olive oil)

Lots of "healthy" food! All whole food!  No refined sugar or wheat or dairy! Lean meats! Still laced with sugar and fat, because a body is supposed to be able to process sugar and fat, and I can't make my body do it.  What foods do you suggest? What has worked for other people with IBS? How do I maintain healthy blood sugar, amino acid level, mineral and vitamin balance, and not tax my system with large food molecules? 

Constipated

I've accepted my diagnosis from the gastroenterologist, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and even though I don't understand what is causing it, I have at least (this week) figured out a way to keep the adverse symptoms from catching up with me. Drink lots of water, take psyllium husk (fiber) every day, make sure to have a bowel movement at least once a day even if it requires a suppository to make it happen, and continue eating the diet that is least conducive to blockage or buildup in the bowels.  The diet I am currently on is a whole food, lots of water, low fat (no pork, no milk, no cheese, no trans fat, and very little saturated fats), no sugar, no refined flours/foods or wheat diet. I also take vitamin supplements daily and essential oil antibiotics for 7 days and then essential oil probiotics for 7 days and pancreatic enzymes when needed.  This week I have managed to stay regular and have lots of movement, which I gauge by the frequency of gas and stool, and have had only a few moments of uncomfortable bloating. We will see if this continues through my cycle, as this week is usually a time in my cycle I have regularity anyway. Two doctors have told me constipation is the problem, which, considering my past, is a relatively good thing. I've had so many issues that to be told "you're just constipated" means maybe I'm seeing some lasting change. It could be worse! But it did cause a lot of problems.
I have learned that even though some of my problems seem to have no solution, many of my problems were solved by the inspiration and knowledge learned and implemented. My chronic IBS that I was apparently born with and has no obvious cause wreaked havoc on my system, in my youth I could take it, but after I had kids I was in pretty bad shape mentally and physically. Now I feel like I'm a lot better off, even if still not completely healed, and maybe I never will be due to the damage I incurred unknowingly in my youth. To be able to say I'm doing a lot better is worth the effort! Look at how things got progressively worse until I changed my diet and then problems started to fall away:

Its interesting when you look at it this way how many problems have been corrected by changing my diet. I had a rough year adjusting to the new diet and a lot of pain was involved, and it seemed like I wasn't making much progress, but today I see much progress was being made. Yes I'm still constipated, which causes bloating and diarrhea, and maybe that will never go away. However, I have learned that being careful about what I eat has eliminated chronic fatigue and dizzy spells, reduced mood disorders, regulated blood sugar, drastically reduced head aches, eliminated leaky gut and brain fog, and who knows what else I've missed! I feel my intelligence and health in large part is restored. That is worth it to me, I'm very grateful. It took me 4 years to get to this point, some miracles take time, you can do it too, don't give up.