Conundrum

After reading the last post, you may be starting to conceptualize my conundrum.  I have a blood sugar regulation problem (thanks Dad), am a fast oxidizer, therefore when I eat sugars starches and simple carbs it causes a lot of digestive and mood problems. I have IBS (thanks Mom) with no known cause other than "I don't get food out of my stomach fast enough" and therefore have difficulty processing fats and have twice been told to stop eating fat or it will cause digestive issues, which it does. So I process simple molecules too quickly and complex molecules too slowly, so what do I eat? Before you attempt to answer that keep in mind that 2 tablespoons of peanut butter have more fat than a whole package of bacon. There is fat in A LOT of foods, and there is sugar and simple carbs in A  LOT of foods.  I feel like a mouse caught in a maze and not sure how to get to the end.

Do I just take the good with the bad, eat a balanced meal, and take the subsequent pain "like a man"? Even the lovely 20 day Clean Out I designed for this blog and for my body does not take fat into consideration. Oils, nuts, coconut milk are just three examples that contain fat and are used abundantly in my meal plan. I would like your feedback as to what kind of diet I should try, I'm a difficult one to figure out! It's no wonder the "healthiest" eater in the world who has done "everything possible" to heal her gut and brain still can't heal.

My current dietary ideas are as follows, but as you see in parenthesis, don't completely eliminate sugar/fat.

Upon arising: Kefir (some fat some sugar but nice probiotics good for IBS)
Breakfast: 2 boiled eggs and grapefruit (cholesterol, fructose but no oil and naturally occurring sugar and fiber)
Snack: beef jerky (animal fat)
Lunch: green salad with salmon, lemon, side of blueberries, strawberries, almonds, no dressing (fish oil, almond oil, FODMAP, fructose in berries)
Snack: banana cacao coconut milk (fat in milk, sugar in milk)
Dinner: Baked potato with olive oil and spice or chives, green tea (olive oil)

Lots of "healthy" food! All whole food!  No refined sugar or wheat or dairy! Lean meats! Still laced with sugar and fat, because a body is supposed to be able to process sugar and fat, and I can't make my body do it.  What foods do you suggest? What has worked for other people with IBS? How do I maintain healthy blood sugar, amino acid level, mineral and vitamin balance, and not tax my system with large food molecules?