PUSH: Persist Until Something Happens

Persistence makes Perfect

My husband decided it was high time we did something about the hard water deposits building up on our bathroom faucet, so he did some research about baking soda and vinegar treatments. He followed the instructions on the ratio and application, let it sit a while and then scrubbed and scrubbed...and not much happened. It removed a little but not much. He was discouraged, but he decided since it did do something, he would try again. He let the vinegar and baking soda sit on it for much longer the second time and scrubbed again. More removed. He decided to let it sit for 24 hours and try again. Each time a little more came off until after a few days, the faucet looked like new.

No one wants to spend three days on cleaning a bathroom sink. We get our handy clorox wipes out and 10 minutes later declare the bathroom clean. This effort does nothing for the hard mineral build-up in the sinks and dirty grease build-up in the bathtub. We have to let it soak and then scrub. With persistence it will look like new!

You can probably guess where I'm going with this! It's an analogy for our intake. With so many food corruptions out there, our bodies can accrue a build-up of fat cells, unhealthy bacteria, and toxins. The result is bloating, gas, heartburn, at best, liver/kidney disease, diabetes, and heart disease at worst. The fatigue and weight gain make life inconvenient, but chronic disease makes life unendurable. Just like the hard water deposit build-up, we won't want to do the work to make it better, and it will take time and persistence in order to get back to our ideal health.

But you can be like new again! If we apply the same principle of patience and persistence my husband used in cleaning the faucet to our intake, eventually every function of our body can be restored. First identify the problem (every body is different), maybe its too much soda intake. Second, soak your body in healthful foods, make sure you are getting whole, nutrient dense meals three times a day so you have healthful eating habits in place.Third, scrub out the bad foods, aka stop drinking soda. Wait, repeat. Don't get discouraged if nothing seems to be happening at first, keep applying the treatment. Its a miracle you can make happen, but it's a miracle that takes time. I did it and so can you. Look better, feel better, live better!

Neuroplasticity is the concept that the brain is changeable and even when damaged, can regain function in almost any capacity. We used to believe that the brain was like a machine, fixed in its functions, and when damaged could never be regenerated. Research in the last 30 years has proven this idea false, and modern brain science, psychotherapy, and medicine is now practicing on the belief that the brain can change and recover.

This is good news for people who have been stuck in a certain habit and want to change the way they do things. It's also bad news for people who have habits because they have literally trained their brain to change in ways that enforce that behavior. If you want to change a habit or recover from a brain injury you have to do exercises on a regular basis that will enforce neural pathways to think and behave in different ways. A stroke victim has to use the hand on the side of the body that was unresponsive in order to stimulate and develop pathways in the brain that will make motor function possible again.

A person who has a habit of eating unhealthful foods has to practice eating more healthful foods in order to develop a taste and tolerance for it, and eventually it may even become enjoyable and something you crave. 
It is a deliberate effort to change the brain. You are not going to "feel like" changing eating habits, and sometimes only a health crisis is what will motivate people to change. Before you have a crisis, deliberately incorporate exercises or practice that will change how you think about food, how you eat food, and ultimately your diet lifestyle. It's never too late to change.
For more information on how to develop a healthful eating lifestyle, read Wise Food Mind or visit www.wisefoodmind.com.

Self Regulation in Children

For the next generation.

I attended a mental health seminar called "Self Regulation in Children" this last month, the second conference of its kind I've paid for to learn how to better help my children/adolescent clients. As in the last one I saw, the presenter at this conference emphasized the importance of a healthful diet in regulating moods and behaviors in our children. "Three times a day," she said, "kids need to be filling the 'food plate' (pictured above) recommended by Department of Agriculture" (choosemyplate.gov). Three times a day! Most kids don't fill it even once.

I asked her how she recommends this to clients, because getting parents to change food habits it is the single hardest thing for me do. I can sometimes convince them to change their breakfast to include protein, but some can't even do that. Since I am a mental health expert not a nutritionist, I can't demand it be a part of treatment. (If only there were studies that show a healthful diet in combination with mental health intervention provides best results.) This presenter said if she sees a big problem and the clients don't change, she tells them, "Call me when your ready." She knows having donuts and soda before a session interferes with treatment!  Most experts in mental health know it too, that's why it keeps coming up.

Its hard, there are days I wish I didn't have to get up and make breakfast, but I know if my kids get a good start on their metabolism first thing in the morning they will have better self regulation in all aspects of their lives. Are you with me parents? Let's fill the plate!

Testimonial from a young mother: 
"It's the little things that make great things. Today I realized that I am free from my addiction to cold cereal. I used to love cereal and couldn't imagine being happy without it. When I started my health journey, I stopped eating it for breakfast but would still eat it as a treat. But now I have no desire for it. I am so happy, and I am happy to give my daughter a good start at life. The only time she eats cereal is if we are in a rush (or at grandma's lol), and I am happy to see that by having her eat whole food from the start has helped her crave whole food. I know I still have a ways to go but this little victory made me happy and I wanted to share."

On a side note, one of my subscribers saw me at a catered lunch and saw to it that I got a plate of chicken without sauce and strawberries for dessert. It filled me with joy and gratitude that he knew how much it means to me to keep my food boundaries. He "got my back." And I've got yours!

For more information on how to create a wise food mind for life, visit www.wisefoodmind.com

The Avoidance Cycle

Facing Pain

I recently read a great article by Peter Howell called "Emotion and Addiction" that encapsulated what I've tried to learn and teach my clients and children for the past 10 years: avoiding negative emotions only leads to more problems instead of solving the problem. (Excerpt to the right, or follow this link for full article .) And he uses comfort food as an example of avoidance! Yet another reason to have a Wise Food Mind.

Howell refers to our tendency to turn to comfort food in order to avoid or escape distressing feelings. He states, "It is natural for us to seek to reduce suffering, but how we do so is key. Escaping from or suppressing painful feelings in unhealthy ways usually provides limited relief and certainly does not solve the problems that trigger such feelings. I suggest that we learn to approach our suffering and deal directly with painful feelings rather than escape from them in unhealthy ways."  If you look at the diagram above you can see the trap we get caught in when we avoid or mask a problem with pleasure or avoidance, or even when we distract ourselves, instead of facing the pain. How do we face it? Could be to talk to someone you are avoiding, to do exercise even though it hurts, or to admit you're wrong and accept correction. Turning to food can lead to a pattern of avoiding pain, and while not considered a clinical addiction or substance abuse, this tendency serves the same purpose for you as drugs/pornography/food does for those who have addictions.
 
Food is designed to be pleasurable and when eaten to provide health and nourishment can provide satisfaction and enjoyment. So it's natural to turn to it when you don't feel right and I have done so myself many times. But now when I'm struggling with something and find myself turning to the fridge, I pause. Is this undermining my ability to handle difficult emotions?

I believe one of life's greatest tests is learning how and when we need to face pain and build endurance rather than give in to our natural tendency to avoid/escape pain and seek pleasure. Of course we don't want to deliberately seek out pain in order to prove our character, but the test to gently accept discomfort in order to face a problem comes to all, and when done with courage and prayer can increase our capacity to endure problems with less pain. The best way to accept pain? Turn to the Lord and accept His will for your life, and humbly do what you need to do. The next time an issue comes up you will have the strength to face it with less distress.

Regarding the Word of Wisdom, President Boyd K. Packer explained: 'There are many habit-forming, addictive things that one can drink or chew or inhale or inject which injure both body and spirit which are not mentioned in the revelation. Everything harmful is not specifically listed.' We each have a responsibility to learn the do’s and don’ts of healthy living that are not necessarily spelled out in the Word of Wisdom.
I believe that Satan understands the processes that make the natural man susceptible to the enslavement of compulsive behaviors and addictions. the misuse of food to manage stress and emotional pain can operate like an addiction,
"Although food is not addictive in and of itself, certain patterns of eating can become like an addiction. Consuming sweet, fatty, or salty foods (or any combination of these) may help us avoid, escape from, or suppress painful emotions. Such foods function to relieve our stress by activating pleasure pathways in the brain.
"Most of us engage in comfort eating at times, but the consequences of using food to cope with the stresses of life are complex and can be serious. The numerous adverse consequences of persistent overeating include weight gain, self-image concerns, lethargy, reduced concentration, an imbalanced diet, harmful weight-loss practices, reduced mobility, spiritual numbing, and diabetes.
"The Lord revealed, 'In consequence of evils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of conspiring men in the last days, I have warned you, and forewarn you, by giving unto you this word of wisdom by revelation' (D&C 89:4). Multi-billion-dollar industries seek to entice us to use foods for purposes and in quantities that are unhealthy. Counter to what many corporations want, the Lord counsels us to use certain substances with 'prudence' and 'sparingly' (D&C 89:11, 12)."
“Emotion and Addiction” by Peter L Howell, October 2016 Ensign

September Wise Food Mind newsletter

Back to school

With school starting, one of the preparations on our checklist to do before the first day was a visit to the dentist. Each member of our family took a turn, and we are all happy to report that none of us has any tooth decay, gum disease or cavities! The dentist said to me in particular, "You obviously take care of yourself, and I don't just mean brushing and flossing." He went on to describe how healthy living and eating contribute to tooth vitality, he even got into a discussion about the benefits of limiting sugar intake. Ha ha, talk about preaching to the choir!
Virtue is defined as "a good or moral quality or ability." In the scriptures prophets exhort us to be diligent in developing faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness, brotherly kindness, and charity. (2 Peter 1:4-8, D&C 4:5-6) so we can "escape the corruption that is in the world." Virtue includes moral cleanliness, uplifting thoughts, and "conforming one's life to moral and ethical principles" of any kind. Taking care of your physical and mental health I believe is part of living a life of virtue.
My kids got up late in the summer, opted not to have the breakfast I had made earlier that morning, and sometimes ate convenience foods. Now that school has begun they have to raise the bar of their performance. I have taught them the importance of having a healthy start so they can have optimism, resilience, and stamina. Thankfully they course corrected (somewhat as a surprise to me), they get up and eat what I make without complaining, and even seem to appreciate the breakfast I make. Never too late to strive to live a virtuous life.
Whatever stage of life you are in, take a "virtue" inventory of your eating. Be diligent to avoid corruption. I choose to get up every week day at 5:30 so I can have a healthy meal on the table by6:45 am, how do you choose to live a food life of virtue?

Remember that you can go to my websitewww.wisefoodmind.com and click on the recipe tab to direct you to a link that has all my simple healthy recipes on a shared PDF file.

I want to emphasize the importance of learning how to cook healthy whole foods from scratch, even if you don't eat that way for every meal. Knowing how much work goes into making food healthy and palatable gives us more appreciation for what we eat.

I like to have a mix of the old ways and the new ways--I use convenience foods when I can and whole organic foods when I can. For example, I have a lot of organic garden grown tomatoes and basil, so I make my own marinara, but I use store bought garlic, onions, other dry spices, and chicken stock. I make my own gluten free pizza crust, but I make it from a reputable GF Flour company's box mix. I am a strong advocate of taking advantage of the ways food preparation has been made easier in our day, as long as you maintain your personal food boundaries and optimal diet lifestyle.

For more information on how to eat clean for life, read Wise Food Mind available on Amazon.com or by clicking on the website link above.

Clean vessels

Clean Room Analogy

Definition of the word ROOM: space or extent, especially unoccupied or unobstructed space for a particular purpose. Origin: Old English RUM, "space" (extent or time) "scope" or "opportunity," original sense preserved in "clear space for oneself." 
Living healthfully is like being asked to clean your room, it's not always easy or fun, but there is a reason we are asked to do it. I have to re-learn this reason sometimes!
In June I started feeling defeated in several aspects of my life. I felt like I was pulling the ox out of the mire just to have it fall right back into the mire when I turned my back. If I left things messy they stayed messy, if I cleaned up, it didn't stay clean! For various reasons, I set myself up for feeling "what is the point?" I was tired of the struggle and I was done pretending I could make a difference in the universe. Exercise became sporadic, I didn't want to plan or prepare anything, cleaning minimal, prayers were laced with a "Whatever you want God" attitude. I didn't want to promote my book anymore, I didn't even want to know how to clean up eating habits to improve mental and physical health. As I have already learned, this makes life difficult. My moods were harder to control, relationships were strained, and that familiar feeling of depression started to set in.
Mid June I decided to check back into life and try again. Someone reminded me that one of my talents happens to be organizing and cleaning quickly. I know for some this is incredibly hard. For me it doesn't take a whole lot of mental energy for which I am grateful. But even I was discouraged and disgusted that "cleaning" never ends. Not just cleaning our room, cleaning our space, extent, scope, and opportunity. This includes exercise, healthy eating, hygiene, watching our words, thoughts, and actions, and making your bed once in while! All this is about "clearing space for oneself." Today I am writing my newsletter to clean up! We each have a particular purpose, in order to achieve that we get up every day and clean. If you check out like I did, check back in. Don't give up my friends! Even if we died tomorrow, we will have lived our last day on earth feeling clean, free, accomplished, and at peace that we have been careful with the small space we have been given on this Earth.
To learn how you can clean up your eating habits for life, visit www.wisefoodmind.com

Just like exercise and eating healthful foods cleans our bodies, practicing good "spiritual hygiene" cleans our souls. The acronym CPR illustrates this importance. Instead of jump starting your heart with cardiopulmonary resuscitation, spiritual CPR jump starts your spirit with Church, Prayer, and Reading the scriptures. Like cleaning your room, if you do it every day, a little effort keeps it clean. However, if you go too long without CPR, your spirit suffers and it will take much more effort to get it clean again. 
I have a strong testimony that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true. When I am discouraged by the weight of life's problems, my testimony lifts my soul again. I don't know how many times I have had to have this reminder--thousands of times perhaps! Every time I've struggled, if I calm myself a little then the Spirit can bring Heaven's view into mind, and I feel hope again. I attribute this to CPR. I consistently go to church, say my prayers, and read my scriptures. This sustains my forgetful, weak and emotional brain so I can remember my Savior, see the tender mercies of the Lord, and trust Heavenly Father that He is always with me and all His children.
As much as I believe sound eating and exercise and mental health practices will help you through your life, I know that the ultimate answer is the Gospel. I could be a victim of an accident or trauma, I may lose my ability to think and work, my health will eventually go, and death is the end for us all. I find comfort, peace, and joy in the knowledge that Christ has made it possible that when my suffering is ended, I will enter into the rest of the Lord. Healthy eating just helps me access the Spirit so I remember it more often.

Wise Emergency Perparedness

Processed food is generally what is stored for emergencies...

I revamped my emergency supply of food in our 72 hour kits this week. As I threw out the hot chocolate and Ramen noodles from my 2013 kits, and I realized if I (prediabetic and gluten intolerant) had relied on that food supply for three days it may have done the opposite of keep me alive. Yet we still need to be prepared and self reliant! I had to find some options that would be much easier on my system than fruit drinks and ritz crackers. 

Changing my eating lifestyle resulted in restoring my health, I don't want to undo that because there is no grocery store available. If I had to rely on my garden, chickens, and food storage in some kind of economic crisis I would be OK, but the food I was taught to include in a "72 hour emergency kit' you grab in a hurry was completely outside my food boundaries.

If you are sugar or gluten free, emergency food storage can pose a problem. You can't make your own granola bars and expect them to last 2 years in a ziplock. You will have to bend some of your food rules about intaking preservatives and traces of sugar--these are the very ingredients that keep things storable.  Though you may not be able to go completely sugar free, there is a way to get a little more whole food! In the 72 hour kit case, I'm grateful that there are many options so I can stay safe.

I wanted to share my "new and improved 72 hour kit" in case its time for you to revamp yours. Safeguard health, especially in an emergency!

This 72 hour meal kit includes a gluten free, high protein options that will store for up to 2 years. (Click on food item to see website of brand.) 3 of each: oatmeal, raisin box, beef jerky, apple sauce, tuna pouch, GF crackers, nuts, granola bar 1 dehydrated Mountain House Meal (similar to an MRE) Vitamins and medicine as needed Other items to consider putting in your 72 hour kit include 1 gallon water per 72 hour kit Water filter Misc survival items such as toilet paper, bandaids, flashlight, knife, etc. 1 backpack for storage Consider what William Dufty in his book "Sugar Blues" said when preparing your kits, it will keep you checking labels for the very best options. "Refined sugar is lethal when ingested by humans because it drains and leeches the body of precious vitamins and minerals through the demand its digestion, detoxification, and elimination make upon one’s entire system...Sugar taken every day produces a continuously over acid condition, and more and more minerals are required from deep in the body to rectify the imbalance. "As a steady diet, sugar is WORSE than nothing. Plain water can keep you alive for quite some time. Sugar and water can kill you."

The harder right

The quote "may you ever choose the harder right, rather than the easier wrong" by President Monson this past conference has been circulating social media. It stood out to me as well, as it has been a motto of mine for a few years now.
I've buried my head in the sand somewhat sharing information with others because it is hard to ask people to choose the harder right. Allow me to share with you one of my deep sorrows.
As I've changed my eating habits and those of my children, one of my kids has struggled. This child's brain find's meaning in life when there is joy, fun and pleasure, and has difficulty with willpower, is prone to impulsivity, and is a vulnerable teenager. She was trained for the most part of her life to enjoy cereal, sticky buns, candy bars, ice cream, cake, brownies, and cookies on a regular basis. As I have stripped her food life of all this vibrancy, in an effort to help her avoid depression, anxiety, anger, and digestive health problems, I have inadvertently created a very bleak, joyless, hopeless food world, where she not only feels pain or indifference about the food she eats, but guilt, shame and anger about food she enjoys. Sometimes she is brave and positive, other times it's hard for her.
My other kids have brains with enough foresight and willpower to understand that sometimes food doesn't have to be the most wonderful tasting thing ever, they eat and are grateful their bellies are full, and they look forward to their splurge times when they can enjoy more exciting food. But for this other child, there is too much of a drive to have pleasure now to take any comfort in the thought of facing whole foods. Unfortunately, she has lost her appetite for food in general, developed a mild depression, and searches for pleasurable foods outside the home.
Her emotional dysregulation this year has caused her great unhappiness, loss of pleasure in other things she used to find pleasure in, and many physical discomforts (headaches, ulcers, neck and back pain, etc.) Add this to her already present difficulties with executive functioning skills, and being in junior high with all its lovely social pressures and indifferent teachers, and you have one miserable child.
I have suffered long with her, trying to give her other things to compensate like quality time and exercise options, using as much patience and not personalizing her pain as much as I can, pushing as many of my food boundaries as I dare in order to make sure she has some pleasure in eating and her blood sugar stays stable.
Then I watched General Conference, heard the prophet plead with us to chose the harder right, and felt renewed hope. I remembered God's ways are higher than our ways, we are here to learn patience, refine our spirits, and develop trust. It's ok for me to ask my children and others to practice obedience and sacrifice, "there is great purpose in our struggle in life" (Elder Packer).
But what really helped me come back to life in my efforts was when I watched "Zootopia." Judy the Bunny cop wanted to make things better in the world, and instead, because of her diligent efforts things got worse. She became disillusioned and apathetic. In the same way, absorbing my child's sadness, empathizing with her pain, and bearing her anger has put me in a apathetic place. I tried to help change our eating world so she could avoid depression and physical pain, and it seems I made things worse. I flatlined in my desire to share the "good news" that you can do something to prevent and even heal mental and physical ailments in our day. I don't want to suck the fun and joy out of life, if you are happier with a donut in your hands and a soda straw in your lips, I'd rather have you be happy and sick than healthy and miserable. When Judy found the real source of the problem and she renewed her efforts to make it right.
The real source of the problem is our natural man tendency to avoid pain. I used to be the same way, sweets helped me cope, made me feel great, I could face the work and pain with my sugary sweetness by my side. But it took from me my health, my emotional stability, and gave me more pain later. When I asked God to heal me, He asked me to get rid of sugar. For the early saints it was alcohol, coffee, tea and tobacco. For you it may be something else. I'm sure it gave God just as much sorrow to see me withdraw from the vibrant sweetness as it did for me to watch my kids miss it. He knows in the long run avoiding excess sugar was right for me for many reasons.
Right is hard, wrong is easy, but right is still right, and wrong is still wrong. During my child's developmental years while her brain is still developing and her willpower isn't as strong, she will be prone to depression, but if her brain develops more willpower, more coping tools besides food and immediate pleasure, more knowledge about he connection between intake and health, it will be worth it. I'm grateful she is enduring the sadness now while I am here to support her rather than as a young mother, or when I'm gone.
We and our children will be stronger if we are wise about our food intake. When we stress-eat, feed cravings, use food to cope, and impulsively eat what we want when we want it, not only are we compromising our health, we are doing our brains, characters, and spirits no favors. I keep at it because I love my daughter. I'm not alone in imploring my children and everyone, chose the harder right, not the easier wrong.