You have been given a gift

My dad has the gift of compassion, humor, and connecting with others

During this Christmas time I have been reflecting on the individual gifts we each have as children of God. It is hard to see that we have a gift sometimes, because others do not see it or we compare our gifts with others and come up lacking. I remember when I was young feeling that no one could see my gift; I was a very fast thinking, analytical person, and felt undervalued as a youth but suspected that was because I had some growing up to do. When I was a young mother and felt "grown up" my gifts still went unnoticed by all but immediate family, so I started to doubt that I had any gift, other than cleaning my house and praying for strength to make it through another day. I wondered what "divine destiny" was for me. After all I had sung "My life is a gift, my life has a plan" as a child and was indoctrinated all my life with ideas that I was part of a "special generation in the last days."

After accepting my mediocrity, I started to try and increase my talents and share my gifts, however small they may be. Surrounded by so many others with their own amazing gifts, I still sometimes feel invisible and unneeded, yet I have learned and felt that Jesus Christ sees my gift, and my Heavenly Father knows what He created in me, so I have confidence in the gift I've been given. Though I may never get any accolades, impressive introductions, or appreciation for what I try to do here during "my mission," I know God accepts my offering and is pleased with my efforts.

In this world with all my limitations, I have tried to share my gifts with you. I hope that my book helps people, whether or not I am known as a great author, writer, or speaker. I want Wise Food Mind to be an ember that grows and grows until it is a flame that lights others' way. There are eternal truths in this work, and I've done my very best to make it accessible and applicable to all who need it. Please share my gift. You don't have to ask for my autograph, you just need to consider my words, apply them to your life, and share what you have learned with others. That is the best compliment I could receive.

You have a gift too. I am trying to recognize the gift in others and appreciate what they bring to this world. Whether you are young or old, rich or poor, you have been given a gift from a loving and Eternal Heavenly Father. Share your gift.

The greatest gift we have all been given is Jesus Christ, and I rejoice that He saved us all from a fallen world, from Satan, and from our sins. Because of His gift we have omnipotentiality, the ability to increase our gifts forever, and will have all the Father has.

Wise Food Mind is complete!

I am thrilled to announce that this book is finished and available for purchase on Amazon. It is available now in print form, and will soon be available in Kindle Edition (3 days). Thank you to all who encouraged me in this endeavor! I have learned so much.
It's a modern day miracle to have this book in my hands. This has been a journey of faith every step of the way. When I conceived the idea of writing a book to help others set boundaries with food, I knew I would need some kind of coaching. God led me to a seminar from a mental health professional that gave me confidence to write, and informed me of a writing course I could take that very month. The Spirit was with me when I decided to purchase the course. God inspired me as I found my population, problem, promise, and program. He was with me as I outlined. God helped me create a title and a website. He helped me find people that gave me feedback about writing and encouraged me in my cause. I realized I needed more help than I could get from my writing course.

God led me to hire a professional editor who helped me a lot, and inspired me to keep going. He sent me material and resources. I rewrote, corrected, and edited again and again, until I had changed so much I felt ashamed for even trying to write! I have felt ashamed of many of the words on this blog that have come across as harsh or judgmental, that have many errors and show a lack of patience to make sure are written well. I can't believe how much I have improved in my writing, which means I was not very good at it before. 

God comforted me to keep going. The scripture in Hebrews 12:11 spoke to me. God inspired my husband to help me find connections in my community that led me to ways of formatting book. He led me to a writers group that helped me find a way to publish.  God inspired my brother to create an amazing cover. I often wondered why I was doing this and where I was going, but faith pushed me onward. When I got the book proof in the mail I was devastated to discover several more errors, and a not good enough sales pitch on the back cover. It was almost too much! But I kept at it, and today I approved the final perfected copy to be published and set up on Amazon for distribution. What a glorious day!

This is my gift to the world this Christmas.
www.wisefoodmind.com

My Magnum Opus

My brother Jesse and his wife Kelsy took this photo of my family (my family is my greatest work) and edited it masterfully with their special Lightweave editing process. They are letting their light shine and sharing their talents to make the world a better and beautiful place to live. My next greatest work, a book on mental health and nutrition to develop an optimal diet lifestyle, is nearly ready for release! Publishing this book represents my small attempt to share some light with the world.
What a learning process! After spending so much time and effort on this book, it is exiting to be so close to finishing it. I've really embraced this chapter in my life as I have come to realize how much I love writing. I feel I have grown so much through this process. I'd encourage everyone who has a passion about something to share it in any way you can.
I saw a quote from Ann Romney today that spoke to me:
"Don't get in my way. Don't say I can't do something. I can write as many books as I want. And I can speak out as much as I want!"
And to those who think they can't, if I can do it you can do it! It has been humbling but immensely satisfying to grow this talent and learn how to lift my words so they can inspire and help others. Share your opus!

Wise Food Mind has been edited and is in the process of being formatted and cover designed! If I meet my goals of having it complete, it should be available in print and electronic form by December 2015. Check out the website for updates on its release! 

www.wisefoodmind.com

The Gluten Controversy

Who needs to go gluten free?

Experts are having heated discussions about the "wheat epidemic"

The basic grain of our diet for centuries is under attack. Evidence keeps cropping up that gluten is causing inflammation and autoimmune responses in people (even those who do not have Celiac disease), and when removed from a diet, the person's negative symptoms go away. Rather than be tested by expensive and unreliable lab procedures, many people are opting to refrain from eating wheat in order to see if their health improves. This creates inconvenience for the person trying to improve health, and confusion in the people who eat wheat regularly, and some conflict in LDS people's minds who know well D&C section 89, that "wheat is ordained for the use of man." Member and non member alike, theologians, doctors, and even some hard core nutritionists are asking the question "Is it really that bad?"
I heard a debate going on back and forth between Alan Levinovitz (assistant professor of religion and author of The Gluten Lie), Sean Croxton (host of Underground Wellness and nutritionist) and Tom O'Bryan (doctor who specializes in health and nutrition and awareness raiser of the harms of gluten intake), and could see that even experts are grasping for some definitive answer to hold onto. Wheat, with it's chemically altered gluten, genetically modified seed, from pesticide covered fields, and processed down to a simple starch may cause digestive problems for a myriad of reasons (from addiction, to blood sugar, to leaky gut, to autoimmune response and inflammation). That "MAY" is a problem. If it does cause these things we are all need to make some changes and it answers a lot of questions as to why we all feel so tired, inflamed, and moody. If it does not, there is no way I'm giving up my cinnamon rolls and bagels...and what IS causing the problems today and WHY do people with health problems find relief when it's eliminated?
My answer to this debate is that, to quote JJ Virgin, nutritionist, "SUGAR is an accepted national villain." As much as I hate to label any food as bad, its what may well be creating the problem. It is the over intake of sugar over the past 100 years that has compromised our systems, and this has weakened us collectively, to the point that an ancient staple and "Sun God of Grains" (Wendy Cook referring to wheat) has become indigestible. Sugar, in addition to the corruptions of modern day food production, has allowed gluten to permeate our weak guts and affect our brains. When combined with fat it is toxic in one way, when combined with grains it is toxic in another way, when eaten alone...still toxic. Sugar has been accepted as a food for so long rather than a poison it is hard to wrap your head around this. You are not "bad" for wanting it or eating it, but it may be doing "bad" things to our bodies today. I believe when sugar is seen for the drug that it is and dealt with, then we can get back to the question, "Should I eat wheat?"

What IS Gluten?
Gluten (from Latin gluten, "glue")is a protein composite found in wheat and related grains,including barley and rye. Glutengives elasticity to dough, helping it rise and keep its shape and often gives the final producta chewy texture. Gluten is the composite of the storage proteins, gliadin and a glutenin, and is conjoined with starch in the endosperm ofvarious grass-related grains. --Wikipedia

Dr O'Bryan advises anyone who doesn't feel great to try eliminating gluten from the diet. He says, "The body has a limited number of options to deal with an unlimited number of insults. We are bombarded by toxins and environmental stress and our immune systems activate inflammatory cascades to attack the toxins coming in. There are too many insults, our bodies response mechanisms (inflammation) is responding so much its causing tissue dysfunction and intolerance. Like never before in history."
From lecture "Extinguishing Inflammation: Putting the fire out with real food.

Is all Sugar harmful?
JJ Virgin, author of The Sugar Impact Diet responds that natural sugar, whether fructose or glucose, is anything that is not artificial or man made. Honey, brown sugar, white sugar, maple syrup, they are all natural sugars and your body will deal with them the same. Agave is an especially high fructose containing natural sugar. They are digested in the liver and stored as fatty acid and cause sugar cravings and an insulin response, and when eaten in excess cause insulin resistance.
Artificial sweeteners are any sugar not occurring in nature (high fructose corn syrup, Sweet'n'Low, Aspartame), and are far worse in their negative effects on digestion, and many research studies have supported the connection between these sweeteners and adverse health.
In between are synthetic sweeteners derived from natural plants, such as Stevia. Somewhat easier on the digestive system, these will still create an imbalance in hormone regulation when eaten in excess. The best way to get glucose is from whole foods.
-From lecture with Marc David in conference "The Future of Healing"

What I suggest: If you feel tired, stressed, anxious, moody, achy, like you can't lose weight, you're forgetting things, your bowels are irritable, but you don't feel bad enough to spend money on a doctor, or the doctor can't find anything wrong with you, try eliminating sugar and gluten for a month and see what happens. The best lab test is your own body. Listen to it, see what happens.
My body had to break down at its genetic weak link for me to learn that what I was eating was not nourishing me, it was causing problems. I'm grateful my health taught me how to take better care of myself. Many of us don't even know what "feeling good" even feels like! Make a change and see for yourself if you benefit from eliminating gluten. "When you fix nutrition, you change everything." 

KIDSGO! Wise Food Mind for Kids

Sometimes I apply Occam's Razor (the simplest solution is the best solution) to my thoughts and methods. I've been working on a Wise Food Mind program for kids and it takes out a lot of the complicated, weighted, wordy parts of the FOODLOVE program. I think it may be even better for adults as well. What do you think?

Wellness begins with W

Wellness Begins with W

Wonder: what does my body need to eat today?

Whole: find a recipe and modify it with whole foods

Work: prepare your meal yourself with love, no shortcuts

Wait: Thank the Lord and bless your food
Wisdom: slow down to eat, be mindful of how you feel

Wash: clean up after your meal

What you gain: Wise mind and healthy body

Original thoughts by Heather Schauers

The Struggle

My daughter likes to say "the struggle is real" when she can't get something right. Can't put her shoe on with arms full, gum stuck in her hair, tripping over piles of laundry...the struggle is real. I often find myself saying the same thing only about more serious matters, like developing a wise eating lifestyle.
There is a lot of talk in the nutrition/psychology world about the problems with "dieting" because numerous studies and research has shown that a body will binge after a diet. Experts are saying you shouldn't call refraining from eating unhealthful foods a "diet" (some are saying don't diet at all) because your body will feel deprived and later compensate. You can't fight the instinctual survival urge to eat for pleasure as often as you can, so don't make yourself feel bad for doing so. It makes sense that they would say this because if eating certain foods make you feel ashamed, your fear responses kick in and causes digestive problems. Besides, no lasting or positive change comes from feeling guilt and shame. Excessive and extreme dieting (like eating disorders) cause just as many problems if not more as overeating food corruptions. Low blood sugar and organ failure because of starvation can have a lifetime negative effect. That is all true.
But it is also true that if you eat whatever you want because you think it's better than feeling shame and guilt you can have food related illnesses and problems with obesity. Generations of people have been trying to balance the need for food, the urge to overeat, and the tendency to become overweight, sick, and tired if we don't get the balance right. The same experts that are saying "don't diet it doesn't work it just puts you in a stress response" are also saying "put in the time and work necessary to eat right and exercise and love yourself." They have standards, methods, techniques they have found work for healthful living. But we can't call it dieting? The struggle is real.
So what do we call it? I have opted to call it an optimal diet lifestyle. It requires work and being selective and trusting my body. I have seen positive outcomes. Yet I still get the feeling from people that I'm depriving myself and my children for living this standard. We are trying to protect our bodies from the harm of over-consuming sugar and instead are being "shamed" for seeing certain food eating practices as harmful. I guess it helps others feel less shame if they go to the effort of socially demonstrating that it is NOT harmful.
Social expectations and psychological shame aside, experience was my teacher and God my director. I ate whatever I wanted for years without worrying about being overweight (because I didn't gain weight), but my health problems stacked one on top of the other until at 33 I was miserable. God answered my prayer by directing me to consequences of eating the way I was, so I started to intervene with my "diet." I had to learn that I do need to "deprive" myself of some foods in order to salvage my health. It doesn't mean others are "bad" because they don't, it doesn't mean I'm "bad" for having certain food standards. It simply means I have learned there are consequences to certain eating behaviors and I've tried to find a solution that works for me. I share it with others in case it works for them.
There seems to be a core struggle just surviving in a fallen world that, like my teenager's problems, have little to do with right or wrong and have a lot to do with just living. I'm not scared of the word diet because I'm not forcing myself to do something I don't really want to do. The foods God created are satisfying and joyful to eat! Call having food standards what you will, it does not need to be accompanied with guilt and shame and self pity. I have gratitude and joy for the knowledge God has given me to live my life without fatigue, head aches, dizzy spells, ulcers, cysts, colds, constipation, depression, and insomnia.
I still don't follow my optimal diet lifestyle all the time. I'm not always patient, or kind, or brave, or grateful. I know once I've been given knowledge for me that certain behaviors are right or wrong I am accountable. We fail we try again, we fail we try again. That is how we learn. I long ago let go of excessive guilt because I know my Savior will make up for my errors, because I am trying and I love Him, and I testify that he is real. I have never met with Him, I have not seen angels, but I have felt His love, and been led by the Holy Ghost to know He lives. I am eternally grateful for His sacrifice for me and all God's children. All my writing, work, and service and struggle have been in an effort to point to and show my deep love for Jesus Christ.

FOODLOVE

After reading Marc David's book Nourishing Wisdom, I have changed my paradigm about fighting food corruptions. Instead of seeing it as a fight, I wish to see it as choosing life, taking responsibility, and loving myself and food. I changed the name of my Wise Food Mind program to a 8 step FOODLOVE acronym, because as I have realized the wisdom I've gained really illustrates that when you stop fighting it and start letting love and health motivate you, lasting change starts to occur. I;m ever learning! "Thus saith the Lord God I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more, and from them that shall say, We have enough, from then shall be taken away even that which they have." 2 Ne 28:30
I highly recommend David's book to anyone trying to change their relationship with food. It could even change your life. Here is my new program, the standards are still there, but the verbiage is more positive.

·         Food corruptions and awareness

·         Observe Inside Forces

·         Observe Outside Forces

·         Dare to change

·         Loving Food and Life

·         Optimal Diet Lifestyle

·         Vitality a Choice

·         Educating Family

Segments from NOURISHING WISDOM by Marc David

We are more than just a body, a tongue, and an assortment of nutritional requirements. We are a soul clothed in the elements of the earth, journeying in a realm where matter and spirit unite in human form. The body serves as a sacred vessel fashioned through millions of years of evolution to carry the spark of life, “the name of God,” as it were. Without that, we are nothing more than a lifeless collection of elements.

Eating is life. Each time we eat, the soul continues its earthly journey. With every morsel of food swallowed a voice within says, “I choose life. I choose to eat, for I yearn for something more.”

We are of a spiritual source. From it we emerge at birth, and to it we return at death. And whenever the spiritual source seems a faint memory, we yearn for its presence. Some call this yearning “religion” or “faith,” others call it “the quest for happiness” or “inner peace.” It is here in the spiritual realm that our journey into the mind of the eater begins. For beneath our nutritional theories, eating habits, and food obsessions, beneath our insecurities and embarrassment about the body, beneath any doubt as to the basic goodness of existence, there dwells within us a condition of wholeness born from the spiritual source. This is not a state of pristine perfection and eternal comfort where all problems disappear and we wallow in meditative mush. It is a condition of timeless identification with the Divine, where life and death, pleasure and pain, success and failure, happiness and discontent, are met with equal acceptance. It is a state of equanimity where we feel fully human, completely alive, and in love with life no matter what happens.

With this perspective, nutrition can now be seen in a new light. Placed within a spiritual context, the ultimate goal of any dietary philosophy is to take us fully into the body, and beyond the body. That is, by taking us fully into the body our dietary system must enable us to experience the maximum physical benefits of food-good health, the delight of eating, and the fulfillment of nutrient needs. By taking us fully beyond the body, our dietary philosophy must serve to remind us that we are feeding more than just a body. Nutrition not only keeps the body healthy and attractive, it maintains it as a vehicle in the service of the Divine. By nourishing the body with joy and reverence, we nourish the spark of life within the body. And when the body yields to disease and decay (which no amount of vegetables or vitamins can prevent), we are left with the knowledge that good nutrition is important but can take us only so far. The deeper nourishment that sustains heart and soul is what ultimately matters most.

Of course, it is important to explore the best foods for one’s body and the nutritional philosophies that seem most suited for one’s way of thinking. But without a spiritual foundation, nutritional knowledge can go only so far. Science can tell us what to eat, but it cannot pronounce upon the meaning of eating. We need something more to help us understand the richness, drama, emotions, sensuousness, and psychological significance of eating.

For some people health considerations alter diet for life. Special diets are crucial during chronic illnesses such as heart disease, liver disease, diabetes, and ulcers. Each of these medical conditions has a corresponding therapeutic diet with specific food guidelines to support or perhaps even heal the body.

Can you see how the five key factors—life-style, environment, season, age, and health—interact to create a ceaselessly changing diet? Do you still think it’s possible for a single, perfect diet to exist?

You can find nutritional information almost anywhere. Nutritional wisdom, though, is rare. There is no single perfect diet but many. Different dietary systems are effective for different people under different circumstances.

Even someone who follows no formal nutritional system is nevertheless operating upon a larger belief system on which the “nondiet” is based. For example, many people who want no rules or restrictions with diet and believe “anything goes” with eating often operate the belief that no relationship exists between cause and effect. Somehow, whatever they do in life or whatever they eat will not have future consequences, or so they hope. Because they secretly fear responsibility, they act as if responsibility were unnecessary.

Whenever you read diet books or listen to nutritional advice, remember you are probably receiving information from those who are reading their own bodies and translating it onto yours, presenting their philosophy of life through beliefs about diet, and proving their biases through scientific conclusions that can be interpreted in other ways. Of course, we expect to find useful information when consulting expert sources, but the reality is that most authorities see only a small part of the nutritional spectrum, and no matter how much information we gather, we must inevitable make our own nutritional choices. Ultimately, the most reasonable view is this: Diet will vary from person to person, from one week to the next, and no matter what happens, nothing will stay the same for long.

When we say to someone, “Don’t eat that food, it is bad for you,” what they often hear is “You are a bad person for eating that food.” To have someone judge our choice of food or simply believe they are judging us is experienced as an affront to our fundamental right to existence. Tolerance and respect for the food preferences of others is a crucial ingredient of eating. Consuming “bad” food has never turned anyone into a bad person nor has eating “good” food made anyone a saint.

Of all the ingredients in a meal, the “subtle” ingredients are the least observable but often the most easily felt. Have you noticed how food that is “offered” by someone tastes different from food you prepare for yourself. For me, even a cucumber tastes different if someone else cuts, peels, and serves it with love. Just as food absorbs the flavor of spices, it absorbs the attitudes of those who cook and serve it.

©2015 The Institute for the Psychology of Eating Marc David Nourishing Wisdom psychologyofeating.com

Ideal Relationship with Food

            In an ideal world, what would your relationship with food look like?

            This week someone asked me that question. My answer was, in an ideal world, there wouldn't be food corruptions. People would grow food themselves and eat food the way God intended it to be eaten--whole and not refined--and not add things to it that kill organisms. We need the insects, the birds, the dirt, and the work it takes to eat, but in today's world the "Earth's Garden" has become corrupt. But since this is the time I live in, and I will have a lifelong relationship with food and its corruptions, my relationship with food looks like a relationship with an imperfect person whom I love. If you substitute "be married" or "my spouse" into this paragraph wherever it says "to eat" or "food," you will see what I mean:

I love to eat, but sometimes I have negative feelings towards food. I enjoy making food, but it's the hardest work I do. I want to eat, but I look forward to the day where there aren't so many corruptions that make it so difficult. I'm doing my best to make sure it is helping and not hurting me by keeping healthy boundaries around what I eat. I'm trying to make sure I'm not eating to compensate for some other loss in my life. I'm trying to be careful how I treat food, and at the same time choosing food that gives back to me a healthful, pleasurable, experience that will lift me up instead of drag me down. I try to remember that even though it's not always easy making food, it will bring me the most joy in the long term when I do it right.

            That is an ideal relationship with food.

Website

I've tried my hand at creating a website to increase my platform should any of my ideas become something people want to learn more about. There is a link to this blog and information about my program that is still being fleshed out as I write my book. I am nearly done with chapter three, and I really like where it is going and what I've been able to express. The writing course has really helped me with this.

I'm hoping I can learn how to make a "subscribe" button and generate weekly emails when the time is right. Visit my web page and send me feedback about it!

www.wisefoodmind.com

Orthorexia

My friend made me aware of a new eating disorder that has come up in the past year, and of course I had to find out more, especially because I feared this was my problem not too long ago. People trying to get too healthy or too pure in eating, whether you care about the size or your waist or not, have turned healthful eating into an obsession, called Orthorexia Nervosa. National Eating Disorders describes the phenomena as follows:

Those who have an “unhealthy obsession” with otherwise healthy eating may be suffering from “orthorexia nervosa,” a term which literally means “fixation on righteous eating.”  Orthorexia starts out as an innocent attempt to eat more healthfully, but orthorexics become fixated on food quality and purity.  They become consumed with what and how much to eat, and how to deal with “slip-ups.”  An iron-clad will is needed to maintain this rigid eating style.  Every day is a chance to eat right, be “good,” rise above others in dietary prowess, and self-punish if temptation wins (usually through stricter eating, fasts and exercise).  Self-esteem becomes wrapped up in the purity of orthorexics’ diet and they sometimes feel superior to others, especially in regard to food intake.
Eventually food choices become so restrictive, in both variety and calories, that health suffers – an ironic twist for a person so completely dedicated to healthy eating.  Eventually, the obsession with healthy eating can crowd out other activities and interests, impair relationships, and become physically dangerous.
Following a healthy diet does not mean you are orthorexic, and nothing is wrong with eating healthfully.  Unless, however, 1) it is taking up an inordinate amount of time and attention in your life; 2) deviating from that diet is met with guilt and self-loathing; and/or 3) it is used to avoid life issues and leaves you separate and alone.
What Is The Treatment for Orthorexia?
Society pushes healthy eating and thinness, so it is easy for many to not realize how problematic this behavior can become.  Even more difficult is that the person doing the healthy eating can hide behind the thought that they are simply eating well (and that others are not).  Further complicating treatment is the fact that motivation behind orthorexia is multi-faceted.  First, the orthorexic must admit there is a problem, then identify what caused the obsession.  She or he  must also become more flexible and less dogmatic about eating.   Working through underlying emotional issues will make the transition to normal eating easier.

Recovery
Recovered orthorexics will still eat healthfully, but there will be a different understanding of what healthy eating is.  They will realize that food will not make them a better person and that basing their self-esteem on the quality of their diet is irrational.  Their identity will shift from “the person who eats health food” to a broader definition of who they are – a person who loves, who works, who is fun.  They will find that while food is important, it is one small aspect of life, and that often other things  are more important!
Orthorexia nervosa is not currently recognized as a clinical diagnosis in the DSM-5, but many people struggle with symptoms associated with this term.

Wrestle

I'm struggling. I was able to get through all the lessons in module 1 and 2 of my writing course, got an outline, very detailed outline, and a back cover all written out. When it came to actually writing the first chapter, instead of a dove let out of a cage I was a turtle retracting in my shell. Suddenly I didn't want to write it at all, I couldn't find words to say. I felt like I was trying to write another self help book or a glorified ensign article, I was just another mortal thinking I had all the answers and I DON'T!!! How ridiculous for me to think anyone would go sugar free for life. Trying to use scriptures as a case to promote my own biases, its revolting. But I know the Lord wants me to write something. What information am I supposed to share?

I want to glorify God for the direction he has given me. I want to bring others closer to the Savior. I want to help people avoid needless suffering. I do not want to promote myself, or make false promises, or include information that is just human speculation or exaggeration. I have done no data collection or research studies, I'm not reporting any findings, I have limited experience in the field, I'm not even an LCSW yet, I am getting bogged down by those mental blocks Bill so carefully informed us not to get hung up by. But I look at all the books all around me and it's all junk! I don't want to add to the junk. I want to inform and inspire, and not only inform but transform.  I'm a nobody, the Spirit teaches, not me, the Spirit inspires and transforms, I'm just an instrument in the service of God, so what does he want me to say? Does He really want me to dare people to go off sugar?

I love writing on this blog but I have to admit I hate re-reading it. I can see why no one else reads it, I get all excited about something and vomit my excitement onto the keyboard and the moment passes and what did it mean? Nothing. Who cares if I was picky, hypoglycemic, perspicacious, or impatient? So what if I found healing through changing my diet?  I'm one of billions of people who all have a story. Why would anyone want to read mine.

Stories that have made me want to be a better person are CS Lewis' "Mere Christianity," Victor Frankl's "Man's search for meaning," and a fiction book "These Is My Words" by Nancy Turner.  They have eternal truths that you can read again and again and be inspired by. There are others but these three stand out in my mind. There are lots of other books I've read and enjoyed, and some memoirs of people who struggled with mental health problems and addiction have helped me. But no book holds more truth than the scriptures, that is what I read on a daily basis. I will never be able to write a book of scripture and do not want to, and why do I want to write a book, something people might pick up and read once and say "that's nice" and never look at again. Art is displayed for ever, movies get re-watched, poems and quotes are used over and over, but a book collects dust.

I'm really playing devil's advocate to explore my writers block. And I'm thinking that's exactly who wants me to stop.

I guess the poisons that block others from writing was getting to me too. I just want to write something meaningful, something wise, in a way that the most possible people could benefit. Everyone is different, not everyone will want to read my book, not everyone will be helped by my book, some people may even tear it to shreds, but there may be a handful that need it, and maybe that's a good enough reason to get my ideas out there. Someone may even be transformed by it. "And if it so be that ye should labor, all your days, and bring but one soul unto me how great shall be your joy with Him in the Kingdom of My Father."

Origin Story of my book

“Hey honey, this year I’ve made a goal to lift weights and get more toned!”

“Awesome! I’ve always wanted a more toned wife. I will do it with you.”

So began 2014, a pledge between my husband and myself to get up early every Tuesday and Thursday and turn on Jillian Michaels and pump iron. After two weeks of sore muscles and little results in muscle definition, my dizzy spells came back.

I’d been suffering with weird physical health issues for 3 years, and been trying to combat them with healthier food and more exercise, and I thought I’d done a pretty good job until I threw my body off balance trying to “get toned.”  My doctor was no help, in fact, because of my difficult mental health history, he tried to put me on Zoloft to get rid of the dizzy spells, head aches, and fatigue, even though I’d gotten through graduate school without any medication and certainly didn’t feel I needed any now.  I’d read books and been to cooking classes and completely eliminated overt sugars, why am I dizzy again?

I decided this time to turn to God, and I exercised as much faith as I could muster in asking Him to heal me. The result was a phone call from an acquaintance down the street. “Hey, I noticed you don’t serve refreshments or sugar at church meetings. I admire that! I have a book you might like.”

Oh, great, I thought. Another book from an anti-sugar extremist telling me all my problems are due to sugar. But it came to me after an exercise of faith…so I read “Sugar Blues” by William Dufty, and yes it was more anti-sugar circumlocution, but this time I felt it was an answer from heaven just for me. I started to change my diet with religious fervor.

My elimination of all overt, covert and refined sugars and grains started April 1^st, and thus my adventure in pain was born. This was not a quick fix, and I was not patient. The only thing that kept me going was the indisputable fact that those dizzy spells left with the sugars. I wanted to quit many times, but “some miracles take time” kept replaying in my head and drowned out the opposition. My sweet sister actually took me aside and started crying because she was so worried I had let my anxieties about food become an obsession that would hurt me. And then there were the negative thoughts in my own head.

 “Why me? It’s not fair! Why is it ok for everyone else to eat bad and not for me?”

And then there were the problems, it seemed every negative health problem I fixed was replaced with a new problem: ovarian cysts, bloating, bowel irregularity, ulcers.  But if I ever tried to “go back” it was infinitely worse. And I couldn’t ignore the plus side, I did lose a lot of weight and had way more energy to lift weights, and I got way more toned! I didn’t seem to have those bi-monthly migraines any more.

I kept reading books, kept being led to more information that helped me understand my metabolic type and how to heal.  And…in February 2015 I started noticing lasting change. My passion for learning was back, in fact I felt smart again. My stomach was rarely bloated and I was more regular. I didn’t have the mood dysregulation I used to have and I didn’t have to spend all day in the kitchen preparing food. I was sleeping through the night consistently. I wanted to live instead of wanting to die! I felt like the miracle had arrived at last!

With patience and persistence, my story became a success story.